Thursday, August 11, 2005
Reasons...
I got asked yesterday by a friend of mine why I decided to include my letter about HIV/AIDS and the discrimination positive gay men face. He wondered if I was talking to someone who was positive, or if an ex of mine had it. Here is the jist of the facts.
One of the guys that I had been with back in Durham, the one who died, was HIV+. He was one of the few who have actually meant anything to me, and he had helped me grow as a person as well. I have had several ex-flings who were positive; and the guy I was seeing a while back at the time of the letter was the same. I have a few friends as well who are positive. I have dealt with it in some manner through out my life, whether in a direct interactive with the gentlemen themselves, or a more indirect route with fundraisers or medical studies. I have a now 22yr old friend, that I haven't heard a thing from in awhile, who was so upset about being positive that he having such hard times in life. And he is so young. With the medicines out there today, he will have the opportunity to life a long and full life. But half the time he doesn't want to live it because it is so hard for him to get close to someone.
Chatting online shows a lot of the discrimination. A majority of the chat sites out there geared towards gay men are just meat markets. You sign in, log into a chat room and start talking with a fella. Of course, the topic goes to sex and a "let's get together" is proposed. The first sentence you read as soon as that comes up is "Are you clean?" Or if you read a person's personal ad, a lot of times you will find "I'm clean; you be too" in all of its many abbreviated forms.
There has been so much negative coverage about HIV and AIDS, that no one seems to want to focus on the good things out there any more. Yes, knowing that you have to be on medications for the rest of your life is not always a happy thought. But it isn't any different than being on allergy medications. Or cholesterol pills. Or blood pressure pills. Or anti-depression/anxiety pills. But because of those pills, positive gentlemen (and women) are able to lead full and satisfying lives. They have been given a second chance. And with some recent discoveries in Europe, they might have a chance at being cured.
As people, we face discrimination of all sorts through our lives. Being gay men/women, we have to face homophobia all the time around every corner we turn, or every office we work in. In the times that we should be standing together, we are allowing negative connotations to rule our lives and suck us down to the levels of the hatred we fight so much to destroy. I am a gay male who is also Jewish. I live in an area where it is not always easy to be either of those things. But I have found the strength to ignore the uneducated and their comments.
What am I trying to say? Mainly this: educate yourself. There is plenty of learning materials out there; utilize those resources. Then you can make your decision after that. But please don't just brush the other half of our "family" to the wayside like crumbs...they have a right to be loved and lead the same lives we are. ¶ 8/11/2005 04:31:00 AM
I got asked yesterday by a friend of mine why I decided to include my letter about HIV/AIDS and the discrimination positive gay men face. He wondered if I was talking to someone who was positive, or if an ex of mine had it. Here is the jist of the facts.
One of the guys that I had been with back in Durham, the one who died, was HIV+. He was one of the few who have actually meant anything to me, and he had helped me grow as a person as well. I have had several ex-flings who were positive; and the guy I was seeing a while back at the time of the letter was the same. I have a few friends as well who are positive. I have dealt with it in some manner through out my life, whether in a direct interactive with the gentlemen themselves, or a more indirect route with fundraisers or medical studies. I have a now 22yr old friend, that I haven't heard a thing from in awhile, who was so upset about being positive that he having such hard times in life. And he is so young. With the medicines out there today, he will have the opportunity to life a long and full life. But half the time he doesn't want to live it because it is so hard for him to get close to someone.
Chatting online shows a lot of the discrimination. A majority of the chat sites out there geared towards gay men are just meat markets. You sign in, log into a chat room and start talking with a fella. Of course, the topic goes to sex and a "let's get together" is proposed. The first sentence you read as soon as that comes up is "Are you clean?" Or if you read a person's personal ad, a lot of times you will find "I'm clean; you be too" in all of its many abbreviated forms.
There has been so much negative coverage about HIV and AIDS, that no one seems to want to focus on the good things out there any more. Yes, knowing that you have to be on medications for the rest of your life is not always a happy thought. But it isn't any different than being on allergy medications. Or cholesterol pills. Or blood pressure pills. Or anti-depression/anxiety pills. But because of those pills, positive gentlemen (and women) are able to lead full and satisfying lives. They have been given a second chance. And with some recent discoveries in Europe, they might have a chance at being cured.
As people, we face discrimination of all sorts through our lives. Being gay men/women, we have to face homophobia all the time around every corner we turn, or every office we work in. In the times that we should be standing together, we are allowing negative connotations to rule our lives and suck us down to the levels of the hatred we fight so much to destroy. I am a gay male who is also Jewish. I live in an area where it is not always easy to be either of those things. But I have found the strength to ignore the uneducated and their comments.
What am I trying to say? Mainly this: educate yourself. There is plenty of learning materials out there; utilize those resources. Then you can make your decision after that. But please don't just brush the other half of our "family" to the wayside like crumbs...they have a right to be loved and lead the same lives we are. ¶ 8/11/2005 04:31:00 AM
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