One Year It has been one year today. One year since I got the phone call that someone that was extremely close in my life passed away.

That day and week was rough for me. It felt like a portion of me had disappeared. For three days prior I had gone to work and walked through life with the hope that he would recover, that he would walk out of the hospital only worse for the wear. Hope that he would get some help that he needed, always being there the best that I could.

But that Tuesday when I left for work, I felt strange. I knew something would happen. His mom hadn't called me back and I knew that it was the day that tests were being run to see if it was worth saving him. It poured rain all that day...the roads I traversed home flooding. The phone call starting with 'You might want to sit down for this' came right before I left work. I was in a daze the entire ride home, calling other friends to tell them, not caring if I wrecked.

That night was the phone call that the funeral was the following afternoon. His family hadn't wasted any time, not that I can blame them. The service was nice, despite some alterations to the details to his life, and it was hard to hold back the tears. The rest of the week is somewhat of a blur. I know that I was drinking most of the time when I was home, but not everyone could understand it. This time around I was at work the entire time, with only a slight buzz through the day. I didn't know what to do to make it through...I just knew that I needed to keep myself distracted this time around. The first time I had experienced this loss was much deeper, and the grieving/recovery time took a lot longer...and took a lot more out of me. People then didn't see me for several days and I stayed drunk the entire time.

So, I keep this person on my top friends on Myspace as a memorial to him. Even with all his issues and our differences, he had been a great friend to me, as I hoped that I had been to him.  ¶ 8/19/2007 12:45:00 PM