Views on the news and some comments... First I am going to touch on the case I posted a few days ago regarding a friend of mine back in Raleigh. They have ended the proceedings as he has pled guilty to the charges. Trust me, it is just easier that way and provides less stress on the people in charged. I have sat in front of a judge before and pled guilty for assault when I was fighting with my parents. I was 17 and there was a lot of shit going down in the house and I just wanted out. I figured that was the best way to help me on my way since going to a halfway house didn’t help things out any. Probably not the best way of going about things, but I was young and didn’t know any better.
I feel bad for the boy. The news has posted his information and picture all over the place when it didn’t need to be. Reading the comments that have been posted to each news article online, it becomes obvious that the full story isn’t told…just a single side of it. And the media is going for the side that will bring them attention and drive their stats even higher. So many people want to point the blame at him solely, but it does take two to tango. And I do know from past history that he usually was up front about his status. The sad part, though, is that so many people still don’t want to truly educate themselves about HIV and a stigma is still placed against those infected.
I have to wonder if the news will ever do a story on the harassment that the NC Health Department gives to each case of HIV that is reported. Wake County, especially, is bad for that. I know of people whose lives have been ruined and they lost their jobs because the county ‘officials’ tore everything apart in their ‘quest to find information.’ Yeah, I don’t care for them…I’ve seen the damage caused.
Ultimately, it falls down to this: educate the population better, hold bothe parties involved accountable for their actions, and don’t single out one person because of their health status. For every one person who is honest about his status, there are ten more who don’t disclose the information to their partners. And if you decide that you are going to play a certain way, then you better be accepting all the risks that come with it. And don’t waste your time on ‘revenge’ and ‘vindication’….is it really worth the time of trying to make someone else’s life a living hell? Gay men are especially good at that…trust me. I have been accused of spreading HIV to several people even though I have tested negative for years. And that, boys and girls, is why I don’t care for most queers…they want to get involved in the drama of life like we don’t have enough already.


On another note, I wanted to let people know that I am getting through things okay. I know that it has been an emotional last few weeks and I was told that I seemed to focus more on the losses and not the gains. That is not normally my way as a few of my close friends can vouch. But events seem to be happening back to back to back and I don’t recover as quickly as most, it seems. I wasn’t as in touch with my emotions as it seemed on the surface while growing up, having learned at an early age it was better to hide my emotions. I was always told what I felt and thought didn’t matter. So I started bottling everything, which usually resulted in a huge explosion at the end. But it helped me survive, and it helped my friends when they realized that someone was able to keep his head in all the turmoil of bad events. So it came to be that I was the lighthouse in the raging storms. But people seem to forget that even a lighthouse needs to be maintained so that it doesn’t fall to shambles. And I lose a shingle here or there sometimes. Just give me a little time…at least I have been able to express myself a little bit better this time around…only a few can say they have actually seen the crack in the mask behind which I hide.
Have a great weekend!!!  ¶ 8/23/2008 08:07:00 AM