Crawl into My Head
Monday, February 28, 2005
For Kicks and Torture
So, for my connexion profile I have listed myself as the Overseer for the City of Dis. Perhaps I was wrong though after taking this test......
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
This is the Seventh Level of Hell:
Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.
Does this really fit me? If so, then at least I will be in company with my friends! ¶ 2/28/2005 04:36:00 AM 0 comments
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Very High |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Low |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Very High |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | Moderate |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Low |
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
This is the Seventh Level of Hell:
Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.
Does this really fit me? If so, then at least I will be in company with my friends! ¶ 2/28/2005 04:36:00 AM 0 comments
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Hiatus
Okay, so I took a couple day hiatus this week. Just did what I wanted with whom I wanted. Was pretty nice. My roommate is a little freaked though..he is trying to understand why I am spending more time reading up on Buddhism right now. Hey, I can't help it that I like to keep myself a little educamated sometime. Yeah, I know that I just misspelled that. But last night I located my mala beads, although it is in a bracelet form. I really want the necklace ones (the 108 beads used in prayer) as I can better meditate with those. Buddha now graces my bedroom and I have a carp hanging at my desk to help out some. :-) People think I am weird with it though since I don't believe specifically in one religion. My parents raised me Jewish, but I am actually half that and half Catholic. I was saved from the midnight masses, but being at Sunday school early on Sundays I always hated. I never completed my Bat Mitzvah, but I am not too worried about that. I don't need a ceremony to tell me that I am a man. Although I have been asked lately if I have turned 21 yet. Funny guys...real funny.
Picked up some new cds the last couple of days. I really shouldn't spend money right now, but I needed to treat myself for my birthday and needed to enhance my surroundings. I found the newest installment of that Ultra Dance series. Pretty awesome. I like "Rise Again" and "How Would U Feel". Wynonna even has her newest single released to a dance mix on it...pretty sweet. I also had to replace Savage Garden too. Yeah, I am a sucker for them. They are cute too in their Australian way.
Not much else new right now. Have had dinner with a couple of friends this week; trying to make sure that my bleak moods stay away from me. Work is slow, joy. They need to turn down the fucking heat in the office though. It is a little hard to work when you are getting ready to pass out.
Oh..and I saw SAW last night. A little gory, somewhat predictable, but not bad. They could have put a little bit more effort into it I think. But it really did go to show how far you are willing to go when you think the worst has happened to those that you love.
Cya soon!! ¶ 2/24/2005 10:24:00 AM 0 comments
Picked up some new cds the last couple of days. I really shouldn't spend money right now, but I needed to treat myself for my birthday and needed to enhance my surroundings. I found the newest installment of that Ultra Dance series. Pretty awesome. I like "Rise Again" and "How Would U Feel". Wynonna even has her newest single released to a dance mix on it...pretty sweet. I also had to replace Savage Garden too. Yeah, I am a sucker for them. They are cute too in their Australian way.
Not much else new right now. Have had dinner with a couple of friends this week; trying to make sure that my bleak moods stay away from me. Work is slow, joy. They need to turn down the fucking heat in the office though. It is a little hard to work when you are getting ready to pass out.
Oh..and I saw SAW last night. A little gory, somewhat predictable, but not bad. They could have put a little bit more effort into it I think. But it really did go to show how far you are willing to go when you think the worst has happened to those that you love.
Cya soon!! ¶ 2/24/2005 10:24:00 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
It is official
I am now 24 years old. Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!
Random fact #254: One of my favorite actresses, Jeri Ryan shares the same birthday as me. Even better.
¶ 2/22/2005 04:05:00 AM 0 comments
I am now 24 years old. Happy Birthday to me!!!!!!!!!!
Random fact #254: One of my favorite actresses, Jeri Ryan shares the same birthday as me. Even better.
¶ 2/22/2005 04:05:00 AM 0 comments
Monday, February 21, 2005
11.25 hours and counting...
Yeah...I have already started the countdown to my birthday. At midnight tonight I will officially be 24 years old. Already I don't look forward to it. Not really certain as to why. But every year is another year of getting older. Geez....if I already feel it now, how am I going to act when I am turning 25; or 30? LOL Yeah...I am gay.
===================================================================
So this weekend went pretty well. I was pretty shocked at how well Parker behaved on the car ride. The first hour were a little crazy since he kept whining and crying because he was so excited and wanted to get out and explore. But he calmed down some...he kept walking the seat and refused to sit down or lay down until he was thoroughly worn out. He wouldn't even lay down for his Kong. I just sat up front and let Matt drive...was too busy trying to kick some shit on my cell phone. (I found out that they had a version of Prince of Persia: The Warrior Within for the cellika peeps to download) I really wanted to read, but I don't know what happened to my booklight....Matt lost it most likely. (Just kidding buddy...it isn't your fault) But had a good time for the entire weekend. Oh, and I recommend watching "Constatine" if you can...that was one kick-ass movie. And Keanu was hot in it too.
¶ 2/21/2005 10:09:00 AM 0 comments
===================================================================
So this weekend went pretty well. I was pretty shocked at how well Parker behaved on the car ride. The first hour were a little crazy since he kept whining and crying because he was so excited and wanted to get out and explore. But he calmed down some...he kept walking the seat and refused to sit down or lay down until he was thoroughly worn out. He wouldn't even lay down for his Kong. I just sat up front and let Matt drive...was too busy trying to kick some shit on my cell phone. (I found out that they had a version of Prince of Persia: The Warrior Within for the cellika peeps to download) I really wanted to read, but I don't know what happened to my booklight....Matt lost it most likely. (Just kidding buddy...it isn't your fault) But had a good time for the entire weekend. Oh, and I recommend watching "Constatine" if you can...that was one kick-ass movie. And Keanu was hot in it too.
¶ 2/21/2005 10:09:00 AM 0 comments
Friday, February 18, 2005
Randomness
You know how you can be in a really good mood, and then someone just says one thing and it pisses you off to no end? Why does that happen?
Why do people think that just because you go into a chat room once in awhile, you are going to know exactly who someone is? I haven't been in gay.com in a long time, just started going back in within the last couple of weeks, and already am expected to know every single person who is in there. Did I miss the memo saying we had to know every gay person in the town? ¶ 2/18/2005 04:43:00 AM 1 comments
Why do people think that just because you go into a chat room once in awhile, you are going to know exactly who someone is? I haven't been in gay.com in a long time, just started going back in within the last couple of weeks, and already am expected to know every single person who is in there. Did I miss the memo saying we had to know every gay person in the town? ¶ 2/18/2005 04:43:00 AM 1 comments
Pampered Pups
So I am getting ready to head out of town this weekend and needed to get the dog groomed and bathed last night. Matt did most of the haircut, but he had to stop since Parker wouldn't sit still for his legs. This dog is the worst for getting a haircut or bathe. As soon as he sees you coming, he heads right for the crate. Not fun. Anyway, I digress. I tackled the job with scissors and corralled the dog in the bathroom. Easy to shut both doors and he can't escape as easily from me. I think my neighbors have to got to think that I torture the crap out of the poor thing. He put up such a whine, especially when it came time for his toenails to get done. Ugh...I think my ears are still recovering from the shrillness of his bark last night...right in the one ear that still functions properly. And get the boy in the bathtub? Forget it. He is so eager to jump right on back out. He thinks it is torture or something. Why is it when a dog jumps in there of his own free will, it is okay? But when you put him in there yourself all hell breaks loose? Can someone please answer that one for me??
¶ 2/18/2005 04:17:00 AM 1 comments
So I am getting ready to head out of town this weekend and needed to get the dog groomed and bathed last night. Matt did most of the haircut, but he had to stop since Parker wouldn't sit still for his legs. This dog is the worst for getting a haircut or bathe. As soon as he sees you coming, he heads right for the crate. Not fun. Anyway, I digress. I tackled the job with scissors and corralled the dog in the bathroom. Easy to shut both doors and he can't escape as easily from me. I think my neighbors have to got to think that I torture the crap out of the poor thing. He put up such a whine, especially when it came time for his toenails to get done. Ugh...I think my ears are still recovering from the shrillness of his bark last night...right in the one ear that still functions properly. And get the boy in the bathtub? Forget it. He is so eager to jump right on back out. He thinks it is torture or something. Why is it when a dog jumps in there of his own free will, it is okay? But when you put him in there yourself all hell breaks loose? Can someone please answer that one for me??
¶ 2/18/2005 04:17:00 AM 1 comments
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Five days until my 24th year.....
So people know......
So people know......
- I will take Water then Tea; Sprite and then Coke.
- Give me a Blue Motorcycle..need the liquor. But if you can't make it, you sure as hell better have Killians around there somewhere.
- I try to remain friends with people that I have dated...unless you are a complete ass and then, sorry, but I don't deal with ass.
- I prefer people who are honest with me...and upfront too. Drama-free and interesting personalities are always a plus!! But over all, just be you. That is what I like.
- Depends on how much I cared for the person. There is one dude that took longer than a year to get over. But generally it is six months to a year.
- I just want to live a full life. But being able to do the graphic design while traveling the world would be nice. :-)
- Give me CSI any night. But I need to get the Teen Titans in there too if I know it is on.
- Sorry...the porn only comes out in the mornings...or unless I am really horny that day. My alone time in my room is usually devoted to reading with the TV going. Yeah...I am one of those multi-tasking people. So sue me already.
- Yeah...I like to spend money. Drop me off in a bookstore, Best Buy or Pac Sun and I will be a happy little son of a bitch!!
Has anyone seen my wallet?
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Upon the arrival of my 24th year
My favorite drink when I dine out is
a) Coke
b) Sprite
c) Sweet Tea
d) Water with lemon
e) When does he dine out?
What is considered as my standard drink at a bar or club?
a) Killian's
b) Bud Light
c) Blue Motorcycle
Do I remain friends with the people that I dated? (yes or no)
What does I consider to be a good quality for being one of my friends?
a) Loyalty
b) They smoke
c) Drama-free
d) Interesting personality
e) Honesty
How long does it take me to get over someone that I truly cared for?
a) a couple of months
b) six months
c) a year
d) longer than a year
What do I consider to be the best thing about me?
a) My heart
b) My intellect
c) My checkbook
d) My friends
What did I always want to do when I grew up?
a) Graphic design
b) Travel the world
c) Get a little white house with the picket fence and his and his SUV's
d) Feel like I lived a life worth-while
What show must I always watch?
a) Golden Girls
b) Teen Titans
c) Angel
d) CSI
e) Will and Grace
When I am alone in my room, what am I most likely doing?
a) Watching TV
b) Watching/reading porn
c) Reading and listening to music
d) Playing video games
e) Sleeping
Finally, for those of you who have been shopping with me...Where will I tend to blow most of my money at?
a) Barnes and Noble or any other bookstore
b) Best Buy
c) Wally World
d) Pac Sun
e) Spencers ¶ 2/16/2005 10:03:00 AM 3 comments
a) Coke
b) Sprite
c) Sweet Tea
d) Water with lemon
e) When does he dine out?
What is considered as my standard drink at a bar or club?
a) Killian's
b) Bud Light
c) Blue Motorcycle
Do I remain friends with the people that I dated? (yes or no)
What does I consider to be a good quality for being one of my friends?
a) Loyalty
b) They smoke
c) Drama-free
d) Interesting personality
e) Honesty
How long does it take me to get over someone that I truly cared for?
a) a couple of months
b) six months
c) a year
d) longer than a year
What do I consider to be the best thing about me?
a) My heart
b) My intellect
c) My checkbook
d) My friends
What did I always want to do when I grew up?
a) Graphic design
b) Travel the world
c) Get a little white house with the picket fence and his and his SUV's
d) Feel like I lived a life worth-while
What show must I always watch?
a) Golden Girls
b) Teen Titans
c) Angel
d) CSI
e) Will and Grace
When I am alone in my room, what am I most likely doing?
a) Watching TV
b) Watching/reading porn
c) Reading and listening to music
d) Playing video games
e) Sleeping
Finally, for those of you who have been shopping with me...Where will I tend to blow most of my money at?
a) Barnes and Noble or any other bookstore
b) Best Buy
c) Wally World
d) Pac Sun
e) Spencers ¶ 2/16/2005 10:03:00 AM 3 comments
Oh shut up!!!
You know those blonde, preppy ladies that wander the office with a cheerful attitude and a gay "Good Morning!" Do I dislike them. We have one here who always has to tell her stories about her cats doing this or that, or her husband's antics and how he has a good memory and buys her that metal Moroccan basket she saw over Christmas for Valentine's Day. She feels she has to be in the middle of every conversation and must add her little comments to everything. I finally told her to shut up yesterday, we didn't want to hear it. I think half the office was so happy to finally get some peace and quiet. Yippee!!!! Now all I need is that t-shirt that has Maxine on it saying "When I 'snap', You'll be the first to go". Sorry...not all of us have the luxury of curling up in bed with someone to hold us tight and get 8 hours of sleep.
Come hold me, please!!! ¶ 2/16/2005 07:42:00 AM 1 comments
Come hold me, please!!! ¶ 2/16/2005 07:42:00 AM 1 comments
Monday, February 14, 2005
Kung hee fa choi
Instructions for Life according to the Dalai Lama:
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements, involve
great risks.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the Three R's
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful
stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
correct it.
8. Spend some alone time every day
9. Open arms to change, but don't let go of your values
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
11. Live a good, honorable life, then when you get older and think
back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation of your life
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current
situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality
15. Be gentle with the earth
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for
each other exceeds your need for each other
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
¶ 2/14/2005 10:39:00 AM 1 comments
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements, involve
great risks.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the Three R's
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful
stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
correct it.
8. Spend some alone time every day
9. Open arms to change, but don't let go of your values
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
11. Live a good, honorable life, then when you get older and think
back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation of your life
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current
situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality
15. Be gentle with the earth
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for
each other exceeds your need for each other
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
¶ 2/14/2005 10:39:00 AM 1 comments
Written on Valentine's day
Anyone who knows me knows that music plays a large part in my life, although I don't play any instrument anymore. I sing when I can, but am out of tune big time these days. The combination of insomnia and a slight cold does nothing to help out. But I have found myself a new artist that I am ranking up in my highest regards...right there with Anastacia, P!nk, Christina, George, and others. I had listened to Joss Stone on MTV and VH1 when I was able to catch the videos. Recently I picked up her album and have fallen in love with it. She has this rich, dark, husky touch to her voice...coupled with her English accent it makes for a very good combination. I was a little upset that she didn't win at the Grammy, but impressed that she got nominated for New Artist of the Year. She speaks to my soul and awakens chords that are not very often touched.
This year, yet again, I spend Valentine's Day alone with my roommate. We are both single and do hate it. Yet we have our own reasons. I hate the fact that I have an ex who hates me because I was not able to go see him up in Raleigh a few weeks ago...and another who is close to loathing my existence, or so it feels. I do know that he hurts right now, and I do what I can to help him out and show that I really do care. But apparently that is not enough. I did not want my own unhappiness with things to drag him down, but either way, he is still dragged down to the pits of things. He has written me stating that he does not feel that I really care about him or worry about him....which perhaps means that he does not know me as well as he thinks. I care about all my friends..and I wish that I can still call him my friend. Perhaps with time and maturity he will wisen up to that fact.
Chris, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother story. He continually pestered me to come to Raleigh to see him. He was in the state, for what he says is the last time he will ever step foot in North Carolina. He would have met me in Raleigh, but somehow, despite all his saying that he would have paid for everything for me, I don't think I would have been any more than a trick for him. No matter what history we have behind us. I couldn't have gone anyway...there were issues going on here that were a little more important, and I tried to explain that to him. He didn't care...I wasn't treating him like I treat the rest of my friends. Shit happens. He sent me an e-present this morning that stated "Just wanted to wish you a HAPPY Valentines Day. I will always remember the special day, our first V-day, we spent together, and our love will last forever....... BULLSHIT...... i had tricks that meant less than you did travel 6 hours from Wash DC to come visit me." He was here two weeks ago. And he still is being pissed about it..just like a little child. He says that he has matured since we split up. I really am not seeing it. I emailed him back and wasn't too nice in it. Here is what I said: "you know, you can be a real a**....you want to stay like that, then fine. go ahead and stay like that. the world does not revolve around you anymore than it does around me. remember that. right now you really make me not want to remain friends with you, no matter what my feelings towards you are. keep your tricks coming...apparently they keep you better company than i did for the time we spent together." Was that a little harsh? Oh well. Once again, the joys of Valentine's Day. (Play 3 Doors Down, "My World")
I hope the best Valentine's Day to those who truly deserve it...my closest friends Dan and Wayne, and Dar and Kev. Dan and Wayne for the newness of the relationship. Dar and Kev for all the hell that they have been through over the last few weeks and are rebounding from.
Playing in CD player right now: Joss Stone, MIND BODY & SOUL, "Security" and "Snakes and Ladders"
*addendum=brian emailed me and said that he really does not loathe me...that is nice to know. he is just having a hard time dealing with his pain and recuping from it all right now. but we are kewl for now....i am glad to hear it. Chris on the other hand, is being a jerk...don't need immature people around me...i no longer consider him a friend. ¶ 2/14/2005 09:57:00 AM 1 comments
This year, yet again, I spend Valentine's Day alone with my roommate. We are both single and do hate it. Yet we have our own reasons. I hate the fact that I have an ex who hates me because I was not able to go see him up in Raleigh a few weeks ago...and another who is close to loathing my existence, or so it feels. I do know that he hurts right now, and I do what I can to help him out and show that I really do care. But apparently that is not enough. I did not want my own unhappiness with things to drag him down, but either way, he is still dragged down to the pits of things. He has written me stating that he does not feel that I really care about him or worry about him....which perhaps means that he does not know me as well as he thinks. I care about all my friends..and I wish that I can still call him my friend. Perhaps with time and maturity he will wisen up to that fact.
Chris, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother story. He continually pestered me to come to Raleigh to see him. He was in the state, for what he says is the last time he will ever step foot in North Carolina. He would have met me in Raleigh, but somehow, despite all his saying that he would have paid for everything for me, I don't think I would have been any more than a trick for him. No matter what history we have behind us. I couldn't have gone anyway...there were issues going on here that were a little more important, and I tried to explain that to him. He didn't care...I wasn't treating him like I treat the rest of my friends. Shit happens. He sent me an e-present this morning that stated "Just wanted to wish you a HAPPY Valentines Day. I will always remember the special day, our first V-day, we spent together, and our love will last forever....... BULLSHIT...... i had tricks that meant less than you did travel 6 hours from Wash DC to come visit me." He was here two weeks ago. And he still is being pissed about it..just like a little child. He says that he has matured since we split up. I really am not seeing it. I emailed him back and wasn't too nice in it. Here is what I said: "you know, you can be a real a**....you want to stay like that, then fine. go ahead and stay like that. the world does not revolve around you anymore than it does around me. remember that. right now you really make me not want to remain friends with you, no matter what my feelings towards you are. keep your tricks coming...apparently they keep you better company than i did for the time we spent together." Was that a little harsh? Oh well. Once again, the joys of Valentine's Day. (Play 3 Doors Down, "My World")
I hope the best Valentine's Day to those who truly deserve it...my closest friends Dan and Wayne, and Dar and Kev. Dan and Wayne for the newness of the relationship. Dar and Kev for all the hell that they have been through over the last few weeks and are rebounding from.
Playing in CD player right now: Joss Stone, MIND BODY & SOUL, "Security" and "Snakes and Ladders"
*addendum=brian emailed me and said that he really does not loathe me...that is nice to know. he is just having a hard time dealing with his pain and recuping from it all right now. but we are kewl for now....i am glad to hear it. Chris on the other hand, is being a jerk...don't need immature people around me...i no longer consider him a friend. ¶ 2/14/2005 09:57:00 AM 1 comments
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Last night
Okay, so I decided to take a little time for myself last night and get online. Went to gay.com, pretty much the normal hangout for everyone. LOL.... Anyway, barely had I logged into the room then I get messaged by this fella. Starts off nice...he asks me what I am looking for, asks if I have a boyfriend..the usual stuff. Then he asks me if I go out the club much and I told him not since this time last year. He seemed shocked by this. I then get asked, why not? and I respond because I haven't wanted to. And so then I get, what gay places do you go to to hang out? I responded, I don't have to surround myself with gay stuff. Which is true. I feel a little out of place in a straight bar, but I am able to go and have a good time for the most part...as long as I am with friends. Hell, I prefer to go to the clubs period with friends...or at least meet them there. So from this question he jumps to "how often do you have sex?" Excuuse me!!! Did you not just start talking to me less than 5 minutes ago? Where the hell do you get off asking that question? Rule of courtesy: If a person has made it clear already to you that they are not looking for sex online, do not ask them that question unless you have already been talking about sex. Or until it is a few days later and you have kept up a steady stream of conversation. Then a person's sex life can come up for conversation. I then proceeded to tell him that was very rude and closed the window. He popped back up and apologized...I said kewl and asked how his day had been...and he tells me that he was going to leave me alone. Okay....what happened to just chatting to chat? Why does it always have to turn to sex somewhere in there?
¶ 2/10/2005 04:31:00 AM 1 comments
¶ 2/10/2005 04:31:00 AM 1 comments
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Randomness
Yippee for the Chinese New Year!! It is the year of...me!
"The Rooster is a hard worker; shrewd and definite in decision making, often speaking his mind. Because of this, you tend to seem boastful to others. You are a dreamer, flashy dresser, and extravagant to an extreme. Born under this sign you should be happy as a restauarant owner, publicist, soldier, or world traveler. Somer Roosters: Virginia Apgar, Catherine the Great, Amelia Earhart, Rudyard Kipling, Groucho Marx, and Peter Ustinov." courtesy of Art of China and Dorothy Mammen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so I have been working on a book, LUCK IN THE SHADOWS by Lynn Flewelling. Wonderful book so far. And one of the best part is that she ties in some gayness and cross-dressing into the scheme of things. I don't look for that in my books, but I love that it has been tied through the sci-fi/fantasy realm that I so much delve into. There is one part where Serengil is explaining to Alec, his apprentice, about the meaning of the lights on the Street of Lights....
" "But why are the lights different colors? I can't make out any pattern."
"They aren't mean for decoration. The color of the lanterns at each gate indicates the sort of pleasures the house purveys. A man wanting a woman would look for a house with rose-colored light. If it's male company he craves, then he'd choose on showing the green lamp. It's the same for women: amber for male companionship, white for female."
"Really?" Alec stood up and walked to the far side of the fountain for a better view. When he turned back to Seregil he looked rather perplexed. "There are almost as many of the green and white ones as tehre are the others."
"Yes?"
"Well, it's just that--" Alec faltered. "I mean, I've heard of such things, but I didn't think they could be so--so common. Things are a lot different here than in the north."
"Not so much as you might think," Seregil replied, heading off again in the direction of the Street of the Sheaf. "Your Dalnan priests frown on such couplings, I understand, claiming they're unproductive--"
Alec shrugged uncomfortably, falling back into step beside him. "They would be that."
"That depends on what one intends to produce," Seregil remarked with a cryptic smile. "Illior instructs to take advantage of any situation; I've always found that to be a most productive philosophy."
"When Alec still looked dubious, Seregil clapped him on the shoulder in mock exasperation. "By the Four, haven't you heard the saying, 'Never spurn the dish untasted'? And here you haven't even had a smell of the kitchen yet! We've got to get you back there, and soon."
Alec didn't reply, but Seregil noticed him glance back over his shoulder several times before they were out of sight of the lights."
And the story continues from there. I won't give away the ending of things (yes, I have read this book already, and the sequels too).
You know, I am always told by those that frown on homosexuality that it is unproductive because it isn't condusive to procreation. Who said that a man and woman always got together to produce a child? There are many couples out there who don't have children, both gay and straight. They are together for the companionship...they feel complete that way. And some of them are infertile too. What do these nay-sayers have to say about that? Anyway, I am not trying to shove shit in anyone's face...just trying to make a point. A relationship is only as productive as the people who are in it.
picture courtesy of http://www.marshalltaylor.ca/weddingweb/index.html
¶ 2/09/2005 10:27:00 AM 1 comments
"The Rooster is a hard worker; shrewd and definite in decision making, often speaking his mind. Because of this, you tend to seem boastful to others. You are a dreamer, flashy dresser, and extravagant to an extreme. Born under this sign you should be happy as a restauarant owner, publicist, soldier, or world traveler. Somer Roosters: Virginia Apgar, Catherine the Great, Amelia Earhart, Rudyard Kipling, Groucho Marx, and Peter Ustinov." courtesy of Art of China and Dorothy Mammen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so I have been working on a book, LUCK IN THE SHADOWS by Lynn Flewelling. Wonderful book so far. And one of the best part is that she ties in some gayness and cross-dressing into the scheme of things. I don't look for that in my books, but I love that it has been tied through the sci-fi/fantasy realm that I so much delve into. There is one part where Serengil is explaining to Alec, his apprentice, about the meaning of the lights on the Street of Lights....
" "But why are the lights different colors? I can't make out any pattern."
"They aren't mean for decoration. The color of the lanterns at each gate indicates the sort of pleasures the house purveys. A man wanting a woman would look for a house with rose-colored light. If it's male company he craves, then he'd choose on showing the green lamp. It's the same for women: amber for male companionship, white for female."
"Really?" Alec stood up and walked to the far side of the fountain for a better view. When he turned back to Seregil he looked rather perplexed. "There are almost as many of the green and white ones as tehre are the others."
"Yes?"
"Well, it's just that--" Alec faltered. "I mean, I've heard of such things, but I didn't think they could be so--so common. Things are a lot different here than in the north."
"Not so much as you might think," Seregil replied, heading off again in the direction of the Street of the Sheaf. "Your Dalnan priests frown on such couplings, I understand, claiming they're unproductive--"
Alec shrugged uncomfortably, falling back into step beside him. "They would be that."
"That depends on what one intends to produce," Seregil remarked with a cryptic smile. "Illior instructs to take advantage of any situation; I've always found that to be a most productive philosophy."
"When Alec still looked dubious, Seregil clapped him on the shoulder in mock exasperation. "By the Four, haven't you heard the saying, 'Never spurn the dish untasted'? And here you haven't even had a smell of the kitchen yet! We've got to get you back there, and soon."
Alec didn't reply, but Seregil noticed him glance back over his shoulder several times before they were out of sight of the lights."
And the story continues from there. I won't give away the ending of things (yes, I have read this book already, and the sequels too).
You know, I am always told by those that frown on homosexuality that it is unproductive because it isn't condusive to procreation. Who said that a man and woman always got together to produce a child? There are many couples out there who don't have children, both gay and straight. They are together for the companionship...they feel complete that way. And some of them are infertile too. What do these nay-sayers have to say about that? Anyway, I am not trying to shove shit in anyone's face...just trying to make a point. A relationship is only as productive as the people who are in it.
picture courtesy of http://www.marshalltaylor.ca/weddingweb/index.html
¶ 2/09/2005 10:27:00 AM 1 comments
Monday, February 07, 2005
Song of the Day (from this weekend)
3 Doors Down-Let Me Go
One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
[Chorus]You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
[Chorus]You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go
And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows
[Chorus]You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
¶ 2/07/2005 06:24:00 AM 1 comments
One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
[Chorus]You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
[Chorus]You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go
And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows
[Chorus]You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
¶ 2/07/2005 06:24:00 AM 1 comments
This past weekend...
This past Saturday I came into some extra money (yippee) and decided that I would go ahead and get my roommate his birthday present. What did he decide? The movie "Latter Days". What shock. LOL All joking aside, I think it was a good choice. I had been wanting to see it, and, although I wasn't in the mood to watch it with him Saturday night, I sat down anyway to eat and watch. For those of you who don't know what the movie is about, here are the basics: L.A. party boy and Idaho Mormon boy meet, fall in love, get separated and meet again. It could have been a little bit better acted and directed, but overlooking all that, it wasn't all bad. (I need to actually go back and watch it again later since I missed the last 30 minutes or so.)
But watching it brought to mind a friend that is going through some issues right now in his own life. And, knowing me, I started seeing similarities in what was going on. But there is one part that I thought was perfect. Actually two. The first one? There is a scene where Wes Ramsey visits an AIDS patient (Erik Palladino I think) and Erik says that Wes was depressing him. Erik gives him some good advice on how to deal with things. The other scene? Jacqueline Bisset sits Wes down at her restaurant, pours him a shot of Crown and tells him to drink it (in one shot so it would be medicinal). But she says the one thing about guilt is this: "guilt is good in that you feel bad and add guilt to it; you feel happy and you add guilt to it". Or something like that. I don't keep quotes after just one viewing..not always good about that. But guilt is one thing that makes us feel human. And makes us want to do better. My friend feels like he is without meaning right now....that will never happen. As long as he has someone out there caring about him, then his life has a lot of meaning. I know...he has brought a lot more meaning to my life and I live 3000 miles on the other side of the country from him!!
"I don't believe in coincidence. These days, I believe in miracles." (Jacqueline Bisset) A lot of things have happened to me in the last 24 years, and my friends are one of those. I have learned that I can be shallow at times, but who isn't? I have had a lover die, best friends too, but always I find the strength to carry on. I dealt with extremely suffocating and somewhat abusive parents, dealt with rape and an heavy-armed boyfriend; yet I managed to crawl out of it alive. Whatever happens to my friend and his life, I know that thing will end up okay in one way or another and he will grow just from that.
Love you, babe....just hang in there.
"We cheerfully assume that in some mystic way love conquers all, that good outweighs evil in the just balances of the universe and that at the eleventh hour something gloriously triumphant will prevent the worst before it happens."
Brooks Atkinson
¶ 2/07/2005 04:33:00 AM 2 comments
But watching it brought to mind a friend that is going through some issues right now in his own life. And, knowing me, I started seeing similarities in what was going on. But there is one part that I thought was perfect. Actually two. The first one? There is a scene where Wes Ramsey visits an AIDS patient (Erik Palladino I think) and Erik says that Wes was depressing him. Erik gives him some good advice on how to deal with things. The other scene? Jacqueline Bisset sits Wes down at her restaurant, pours him a shot of Crown and tells him to drink it (in one shot so it would be medicinal). But she says the one thing about guilt is this: "guilt is good in that you feel bad and add guilt to it; you feel happy and you add guilt to it". Or something like that. I don't keep quotes after just one viewing..not always good about that. But guilt is one thing that makes us feel human. And makes us want to do better. My friend feels like he is without meaning right now....that will never happen. As long as he has someone out there caring about him, then his life has a lot of meaning. I know...he has brought a lot more meaning to my life and I live 3000 miles on the other side of the country from him!!
"I don't believe in coincidence. These days, I believe in miracles." (Jacqueline Bisset) A lot of things have happened to me in the last 24 years, and my friends are one of those. I have learned that I can be shallow at times, but who isn't? I have had a lover die, best friends too, but always I find the strength to carry on. I dealt with extremely suffocating and somewhat abusive parents, dealt with rape and an heavy-armed boyfriend; yet I managed to crawl out of it alive. Whatever happens to my friend and his life, I know that thing will end up okay in one way or another and he will grow just from that.
Love you, babe....just hang in there.
"We cheerfully assume that in some mystic way love conquers all, that good outweighs evil in the just balances of the universe and that at the eleventh hour something gloriously triumphant will prevent the worst before it happens."
Brooks Atkinson
¶ 2/07/2005 04:33:00 AM 2 comments
Friday, February 04, 2005
On art
... A human activity having for its purpose the transmission of the highest and best feelings to which men have risen.
-- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian Novelist
¶ 2/04/2005 05:15:00 AM 0 comments
-- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian Novelist
¶ 2/04/2005 05:15:00 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Beer Theories
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drinkthis beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-- Babe Ruth
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- Ernest Hemingway
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Paul Hornung
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H.L. Mencken
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- George Bernard Shaw
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
-- W.C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
-- Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!
-- Leo Durocher
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the wholegroup keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake ofalcohol, as we know, kill brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, makingthe brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Moral of all this?? DRINK BEER AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!
¶ 2/01/2005 10:57:00 AM 0 comments
-- Babe Ruth
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- Ernest Hemingway
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Paul Hornung
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H.L. Mencken
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- George Bernard Shaw
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
-- W.C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
-- Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!
-- Leo Durocher
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the wholegroup keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake ofalcohol, as we know, kill brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, makingthe brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
Moral of all this?? DRINK BEER AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!
¶ 2/01/2005 10:57:00 AM 0 comments
Give Emotion
Okay..so this is on one of my cds and I haven't a clue as to who sings it. Goes to show ya that you should always ask your friends what is on the damn thing when they copy it for you. LOL
I need to know the reasons why
Can you forsake what you've been given.
You took no time to justify,
All the lies you've been livin'.
If I give emotion,
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
If I give emotion,
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
You seem to run, you seem to hide
So are you scared of how you're feeling?
The time has come to live your life
So come with me and do some dreaming...
If I give emotion
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
If I give emotion
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
Hmmm....sounds like my life for the last six years. Always with my mouth shut on my own feelings, only worried about the emotions of the people around me. No wonder I am so screwed up.
¶ 2/01/2005 10:41:00 AM 1 comments
I need to know the reasons why
Can you forsake what you've been given.
You took no time to justify,
All the lies you've been livin'.
If I give emotion,
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
If I give emotion,
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
You seem to run, you seem to hide
So are you scared of how you're feeling?
The time has come to live your life
So come with me and do some dreaming...
If I give emotion
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
If I give emotion
Will you show devotion
Or will you fly and fly away?
Hmmm....sounds like my life for the last six years. Always with my mouth shut on my own feelings, only worried about the emotions of the people around me. No wonder I am so screwed up.
¶ 2/01/2005 10:41:00 AM 1 comments
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