Monday, December 19, 2005
Manic Mondays
Can I say that today is most definitely a Monday for me. I have been awake since about 130 this morning, and haven't had much of an appetite for eating or anything. Work is dragging really bad, and I managed to make a complete ass outta myself. The sad part about it: I did something that I had told myself for years I would never do...jump to conclusions. That is one of my biggest pet peeves with people, especially since my roommate is pretty good about thinking that he knows what is going on with me.
The result? I managed to hurt/wound deeply someone who means a whole lot to me. I accused him of being like a lot of other gay men that I know, when that was not even the case. He keeps telling me that it is okay, now that we have things mostly separated out; but I still feel like a piece of shit. But isn't the person who will be hardest on me going to me? I just wish I could rewind time and start things all over. But I can't. So I will have to settle for just sitting here wishing for a dark hole to crawl into and cry.
I am working on a remembrance of the year type of blog that will hopefully be posted later this week. Definitely before the end of the year if I don't make it for some reason.
But, in the meantime, enjoy these quotes that I compiled in the last few days. I am going to go hide from the world for a bit.
Just as one can make a lot of garlands from a heap of flowers, so man, subject to birth and death as he is, should make himself a lot of good karma. ~Gautama Buddha
Just as one can make a lot of garlands from a heap of flowers, so man, subject to birth and death as he is, should make himself a lot of good karma. ~Gautama Buddha
We cheerfully assume that in some mystic way love conquers all, that good outweighs evil in the just balances of the universe and that at the eleventh hour something gloriously triumphant will prevent the worst before it happens. ~Brooks Atkinson
The world of achievement has always belonged to the optimist. ~J. Harold Wilkins
Seeing your body as no better than an earthen pot, make war on Mara with the sword of wisdom, and setting up your mind as a fortress, defend what you have won, remaining free from attachment. ~Shakyamuni Buddha
picture courtesy of David Rothwell's Photopia ¶ 12/19/2005 10:21:00 AM
Can I say that today is most definitely a Monday for me. I have been awake since about 130 this morning, and haven't had much of an appetite for eating or anything. Work is dragging really bad, and I managed to make a complete ass outta myself. The sad part about it: I did something that I had told myself for years I would never do...jump to conclusions. That is one of my biggest pet peeves with people, especially since my roommate is pretty good about thinking that he knows what is going on with me.
The result? I managed to hurt/wound deeply someone who means a whole lot to me. I accused him of being like a lot of other gay men that I know, when that was not even the case. He keeps telling me that it is okay, now that we have things mostly separated out; but I still feel like a piece of shit. But isn't the person who will be hardest on me going to me? I just wish I could rewind time and start things all over. But I can't. So I will have to settle for just sitting here wishing for a dark hole to crawl into and cry.
I am working on a remembrance of the year type of blog that will hopefully be posted later this week. Definitely before the end of the year if I don't make it for some reason.
But, in the meantime, enjoy these quotes that I compiled in the last few days. I am going to go hide from the world for a bit.
Just as one can make a lot of garlands from a heap of flowers, so man, subject to birth and death as he is, should make himself a lot of good karma. ~Gautama Buddha
Just as one can make a lot of garlands from a heap of flowers, so man, subject to birth and death as he is, should make himself a lot of good karma. ~Gautama Buddha
We cheerfully assume that in some mystic way love conquers all, that good outweighs evil in the just balances of the universe and that at the eleventh hour something gloriously triumphant will prevent the worst before it happens. ~Brooks Atkinson
The world of achievement has always belonged to the optimist. ~J. Harold Wilkins
Seeing your body as no better than an earthen pot, make war on Mara with the sword of wisdom, and setting up your mind as a fortress, defend what you have won, remaining free from attachment. ~Shakyamuni Buddha
picture courtesy of David Rothwell's Photopia ¶ 12/19/2005 10:21:00 AM
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I have a tendency to jump to conclusions myself and then speak first and think later! It has gotten me into a world of shit and cause me a lot of heartache. I can relate!
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