Finally...a quick update.... I know that those of you who have been fortunate enough to catch me on a regular basis have heard about my recent problems. I would like to say that I am doing a bit better, although still not sleeping right (like that will change any time soon) and my knees are still screwed up (no on-your-knees comments, please). But I think I have managed to recover somewhat from the rest of it.

The issues with the parental farm have eased too…of course it probably helps that we are not talking anymore right now either. It ended up being a mutual decision…I didn’t need to be any more stressed than I have been as of late…and I really need to finish this pack of cigs so that I can stop smoking once again. But that started from a whole ‘nother issue. Back to the parents. I had a pretty bad fight with my mother and was accused of several nasty things in regards to the relationship, so I told her that it was not working right now and maybe I would let her know when would be fine. She did not see how she could be the cause of a lot of stress (I would not wonder when we fight nearly every time we talk), accused me of only wanting them for the vehicle factor, and stated that I was reverting back to an age range of 7 to 17. The last one pissed me off pretty badly because it meant that my shrink from a few years back was divulging more info than he was allowed, and also because my mom could not see how childish she was being with half of it. She kept yelling and getting attitude with me. I know that I have attitude sometimes, but I do try to keep it somewhat in check. A lot more of it is smartassedness and the dry sense of humour. Anyway, I told her that if she kept yelling at me I was not going to listen…everyone knows that I don’t respond very well to that and won’t talk to anyone for awhile if they have done that to me. I tried to make a point to her, that failed and I resorted to something I don’t particularly like doing…but it shot across to her. So, now, we have agreed to not talk, and my life has been a bit calmer for that. The rest of the drama is the making of someone else, but I am not going into that right now.

Which brings me to another part. I have recently been accused of not being open-minded in some aspects by cutting people out that have been causing drama of one sort or another with me or my friends. I know that drama is a part of life….but I also know that I can limit how much interaction I have with it. Especially when it is people who admitted to the fact that are very dramatic and create it for the hell of it sometimes. Sorry…I deal enough with that at my job. I don’t want to come home to it as well. My life has actually been better for slicing people out, and figuring out those who really want to be friends, and those who are around to just get some dirt…or use me for other means. I don’t like or appreciate it. So, please accept my apologies if the relationship dynamics have changed lately with anyone…I am doing what I should have done a long time ago and am taking time for myself and my own improvement. Doesn’t mean that I care for anyone any less…just don’t need the bullshit.

So…if anyone knows of a good agency that knows how to break some red tape in finding the birth parental units, please let me know. And, if anyone knows of any decent jobs out there too that my closest friends won’t give me hell about (I have considered the photos shoots again and more), please let me know too.

Catch ya later…and you know how to reach me if you really want to!!

The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
-- Chinese proverb  ¶ 8/17/2006 04:51:00 AM