Last night... So last night started off a little slow. I had worked a long day on the door and was exhausted. (No more 11hours shifts with me on the door....me be tired baby) Anyway, Brian had gotten back from visiting with his daughter during the afternoon, so I cooked for me, him and Matt. Wasn't too bad. We were trying to figure out something to do, so we decided on movies with Bri's roommate. Load up the car, folks; we are taking a field trip to Mayfaire Theatre! View of choice: Monster-in-Law.


Okay....Jane Fonda, Michael Vartan, Jennifer Lopez and Wanda Sykes. Strange combo, perfect mix for hilarity. Be prepared for the popcorn to get stuck in your throat, soda to spew from your mouth and nose, and your pants to be soaked from laughing your butt off through the entirety. You don't dare leave your seat for one second for fear of missing out on any of the comedy. We loved it and started seeing parts of ourselves in the characters. A little scary when you realize that you Ruby assisting Viola through life. But fun all the same. This one, gets both thumbs up from me!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay...so I have been asked to show Brian off by a couple of people...here ya go.



Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth.
-- Ruth McKenney

Song of the day: "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan and "Lose Control" by Missy Elliot  ¶ 6/29/2005 10:11:00 AM 0 comments

  New stuff....   ¶ 6/28/2005 10:12:00 AM 0 comments

  Just a quickie... Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.
-- Mary Lou Cook  ¶ 6/28/2005 07:41:00 AM 0 comments

  Randomness of the day... It is wonderful to be in on the creation of something, see it used,and then walk away and smile at it.
-- Lady Bird Johnson (1912- ) American First Lady

Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
moments so dear
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylight, in sunsets, in midnights,
in cups of coffee, In inches, in miles
in laughter in strife,

In Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life

How about Love
how about love
how about love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love

Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
journeys to plan
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
how do you measure the life of a woman
or a man?

In truth that she learned
or in times that he cried
In the bridges he burned
or the way that she died

Its time now to sing out
though the story never ends
lets celebrate remember a year
in the life of friends

How about Love
how about love
how about love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love

In diapers-report cards
In spoke wheels-in speeding tickets
In contracts-dollars
In funerals-in births

In-five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you figure
a last year on Earth?

Figure in love
figure in love
figure in love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love

"Seasons of Love" from the RENT Soundtrack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Okay, so me and Brian went to go see this Saturday night as part of our date. We thought there would be a lot of queers there for it; were we wrong. The theater didn't fill up until closer to preview time. Not bad. The movie left something to be desired though. Both Will and Nicole delivered some laughs, but there was an interior story line that was left untouched by movie end. It seemed slow....hell, Brian even nearly fell asleep partway through, although whether it was due to the movie, dinner or his headache, I am not fully sure. Nicole plays a decent witch, and Will the perfect self-absorbed actor trying to recreate his career, with some quick pick-me-ups from Michael Caine, Shirley MacLaine and Kristin Chenowith. But over-all, I would give this one thumb up. Sorry, folks, hate to disappoint ya.  ¶ 6/27/2005 10:07:00 AM 1 comments

  Morning... Man is so made that whenever anything fires his soul, impossibilities
vanish.

-- Jean de la Fontaine



Song this morning: "Live for Today" from the RENT Soundtrack  ¶ 6/27/2005 05:10:00 AM 0 comments

  My personal mantra Those who, relying upon themselves only, not looking for assistance
to anyone besides themselves, it is they who will reach the top-most
height.

-- Buddha


Song: "All Around the World" by ATC  ¶ 6/24/2005 11:34:00 AM 0 comments

  .... Let everyone sweep in front of his own door and the whole world will
be clean.

-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe  ¶ 6/23/2005 11:34:00 AM 0 comments

  Silly....

Song of the morning: Iio-"At the End"
  ¶ 6/22/2005 03:41:00 AM 0 comments

  I have found that the greatest help in meeting any problem with decency and self-respect and whatever courage is demanded, is to know where you yourself stand. That is, to have in words what you believe and are acting from.
-- William Faulkner (1897-1962) American Writer



Delerium feat. Jael: "After All"  ¶ 6/21/2005 10:18:00 AM 0 comments

  Just some stuff Just a couple of pics that I had taken over the weekend with my phone....



Thistle in the backyard...



Yasmine cleaning Kit on my bed...



Songs of the morning: Dance remix of "Phantom of the Opera" and Shania Twain's "I'm Gonna Getcha"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay...so I have a new movie that I think was great....Batman Begins!!! This year's Oscars will be pitting SW3 against BB, so we shall who comes out the winner. I will watch just for that. Oh..and Christian Bale is hot and bulked up quite a bit more than Reign of Fire!!

  ¶ 6/21/2005 03:51:00 AM 0 comments

  Mondays suck and I wish today would end Hey guys,

Hope your Monday is a lot better than mine has been. I was awake early this morning, but that wasn't too bad because this week is my flex week and I can come in/leave earlier than normal. Next week is going to suck, but that is okay.

For the sake of the people I call friends, I will omit the real names and utilize false names in the following explanation of what happened a couple of weekends ago that got me really upset and sick.

To start off, I need to give a little background info about myself. From the time that I lived in Raleigh until the time I left my ex-husband, I had been involved with the darker side of life and nearly lived off of E and Snow and whatever else I was able to lay my hands on. I never shot up, but inhaled or swallowed a variety of narcotics. Then I saw my life start going in a downhill spiral and watched it affect my job and personal life. I made a decision to quit, and have since been clean for 4.5 years. (go me!!) I have chosen to put a distance between myself and the crowd that participates in the parties of Hell. I do have a few friends that still use, but they respect me and my decision, and stay clean around me out of respect. And I respect/appreciate them for that.

With the last guy that I had started talking to, I had informed him of all this, and he was cool with it all. A lot of his friends seem to be partiers, so I just wanted to make sure that he was clear on everything. And I thought we were. Well, a couple of weekends ago, we ended up at a friend's house with a few other guys, and things seemed to be cool. Then the shit hit the fan, so to speak. I went in the house to check on one of the boys and he was in a near coma. I got my roommate, and the rest of the kids, and we were gonna head back to the house and let Mr. Ral sleep it all off. In the five minutes that I went to go put my shorts on (I had on speedos and didn't care to walk around Wilmington in only that), Mr Ral had thrown up twice and I could hear him gurgling through it trying to breathe. That kicked me and my roommate into overdrive and start trying to take care of him. Our first thought was "this is due to the hydrocodone he had taken and he was having a bad reaction". When the "host" was asked how much was taken, he stated 2mg...and, oh, btw, he also had a bump. That was not what I wanted to hear. I was enraged at the calmness, and almost give-a-shit attitude; and this was not something that sat well with me. Both me and my roommate had watched people die from overdoses, so we are not so non-chalant when it comes to these "recreational" drugs.

On the ride back to my friend's house, we got into a discussion about the drugs and my past involvement with it all. I got really upset with his attitude and his explanation about our host that sounded a lot more like a defence than an explanation. Mr Ral really should have been taken to the hospital and had his stomach pumped, among other things. Fortunately for him, he recovered fine and didn't remember much that had happened in the first two hours of throwing up. But I didn't like the attitude that all the guys were having of "he will learn from this...all he needs a realization to get him to stop". It also takes having a head on your shoulders, and the responsibility of everyone else around to monitor the activities. If you are going to play, then play responsibly.

I have a feeling that if this had happened to me or my roommate, my friend would have had a different attitude. But since it wasn't us, the nonchalance irritated me to no end. And my roommate was not very happy either. I was supposed to attend a function that Saturday night, but decided to go run/walk first to try to kill a little of my anger so I could attempt to rest. Fat good that did me. Every time I thought back on all of it, I got even more upset. I couldn't hang around people that did this, and didn't seem to care what happened. I had to return the following day to the host's house to bring something back to him; we had a discussion about the previous day and he asked me about my strong feelings on it. I explained it all too him...he didn't care. No apology that I had to go through it, no apology for his not doing more to make sure that Mr Ral was okay. It was like he didn't even care...such a typical attitude for a dealer.

I stopped things with my friend and explained to him that I could not be around that. It wasn't fair to me, and I shouldn't have to be placed in that position again. I had felt disrespected by all of them. I know that might sound a little selfish, but does an alcoholic's friends drink around him when they know that he is going through recovery? My friend has talked about how he wants to stop partying all the time, and wants to chill out and get away from it; he stated that I was a good reason to stop it. But he isn't ready to stop cold turkey. He has to be willing to do it for himself, and he might lose friends, but I don't see how he could do worse. It sucks that he never knew that it would cause him to lose something dear to him. Maybe now he will think twice about it all. I will still remain friends with him, but as long as the host and the rest of the party crew he is so close friends with are around, I don't see much happening.

I feel better after writing this down, although it still hurts me seeing someone have to go through all this. But maybe this reality check will help him out and make better decisions.

Song: Wynonna "I want to know what love is"  ¶ 6/20/2005 10:21:00 AM 2 comments

  Quotes of the day The people with whom you work reflect your own attitude. If you are suspicious, unfriendly and condescending, you will find these unlovely traits echoed all about you. But if you are on your best behavior, you will bring out the best in the persons with whom you are going to spend most of your waking hours.
-- Beatrice Vincent

The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality.
-- John Quincy Adams

There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is, not to be true to the best one knows.
-- John Farrar (1945-) Austrailian Composer

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822) English Poet


Current Song: "Rise Again" by Tina Ann, Ultra Dance 06, Disc 1  ¶ 6/20/2005 10:17:00 AM 0 comments

  Quick update Hey all,
I know that I have not been around lately, and for that, I am sorry. I was going through a semi-severe migraine last week that had me extremely nauseous and very worn down. Wednesday ended up being a very short day for me, and Thursday and Friday were days to lay in bed and try to rest up. I made it out a little bit on Friday, but still wasn't up to my full speed. Still working on that, actually.

But anyway, there have been a few changes in my life over the last few days, and some are due to events from the previous weekend. I will post the full details shortly. Those who are my close friends and have known about my tumultuous past will have a good idea what I have mentioned before.

But, here is to a good Father's Day for all dads out there in the world, and an even better (and hopefully, cooler) Sunday. Back to work tomorrow!

Updates will be coming soon.

Hugs from me to everyone.  ¶ 6/19/2005 09:23:00 AM 0 comments

  The smallest good deed is better than the grandest good intention.
-- Duguet  ¶ 6/15/2005 04:30:00 AM 1 comments

  My quote for the day There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
-- Hindu proverb

Gotta love it........  ¶ 6/14/2005 09:59:00 AM 0 comments

  Hey folks There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.
-- John Andrew Holmes



This weekend was okay. A couple of friends came down from Raleigh, so we all went over to a friend's place and enjoyed his pool for a bit. A few things happened there that involved some of my old past, so I ended up leaving a little upset. Had to go home and take a little run to calm down some. I was supposed to go to the re-opening of the Gay Community Center for Wilmington, but didn't get done until about halfway through it and still needed to take a nap if I was going to even attempt to function at the club that night. Well, that ended up turning into a disaster too. Got to the club and about 15 minutes was ready to leave. Did see two good friends, so that was nice, but was just not feeling it. The music sucked...apparently she didn't actually start picking it up until after midnight/1 am. I would have stuck around to see if anything got better, except I started feeling really sick and just opted to go home. Johnny crawled into bed probably around 5 or so, so I did get a few hours in bed with him, but I wasn't in the mood for anything. Saturday just had me turned off to a lot of things. Oh well. Johnny had to fly out for Orlando Sunday morning, so I took him to the airport and then made sure the boys headed out for Raleigh okay. A little musical cars and everyone was settled in just fine for the rest of the day. Saw a friend of mine that afternoon and then it was chillout zone for the rest of the day.

So Johnny is going to be gone all week. Will be a little tough for me in some aspects, but I will be okay. Decided to cut my hair last night too, so maybe my headaches will chill out some.

Anyway, this is going to be a long week.....wish it could end now.

The life of man is like a game with dice; if you don’t get the throw you want, you must show your skill in making the best of the throw you get.
-- Terence

Music: Jessy "How Long"

Jessy - How long (point of no return)-CHORUS how long how long 'till we crash and burn how long how long to the point of no return-the wind mills in my eyes can't you see that they've stopped turning it's such a lonely sight the wind no longer tries to simmer down the yearning burning inside the search for true love brought us here but the road ahead remains unclear-CHORUS (2x) how long how long 'till we crash and burn how long how long to the point of no return-the horizon far away is it still our destination is it still our guiding light I think of yesterday troubled by temptation burning inside We've come this far not asking why we cannot look each other in the eye anymore-CHORUS (2x) how long how long 'till we crash and burn how long how long to the point of no return courtesy of jessy's website  ¶ 6/14/2005 04:49:00 AM 0 comments

 

DJ Lydia is coming to spin this weekend for DJ Lil' Mandy's birthday. It will hopping Saturday night, so, if you happen to be in Wilmington come see me dancing like crazy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week has been pretty slow at work...things are dropping off really badly at work and making me a little more bored than normal. But I did get my car back, so I am really happy for that. The brakes work perfectly now (until the front ones go out), and I paid a lot less than Meineke wanted. I guess I have to be really thankful for Jay and his dad...they got me hooked up!!
Looking forward to this weekend...some friends will be up from Raleigh for the party Saturday night and I think we are also gonna try to attend the opening party of the gay community center in Wilmington. Finally, I live somewhere in the South that actually recognizes the gay population.




Goodness is a special kind of truth and beauty. It is truth and
beauty in human behavior.

-- H. A. Overstreet  ¶ 6/10/2005 10:19:00 AM 0 comments

  This morning's quote He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.
-- Japanese proverb


Music: Narcotic Thrust~"when the dawn breaks"  ¶ 6/09/2005 07:28:00 AM 1 comments

  Quotes of the Day Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.
-- From an old English prayer.

Beauty, truth, friendship, love, creation – these are the great values of life. We can’t prove them, or explain them, yet they are the most stable things in our lives.
-- Jesse Herman Holmes  ¶ 6/08/2005 12:46:00 PM 0 comments

  Tiesto feat. Kirsty Hawkshaw "Just Be"

I was lost and I'm still lost
But I feel so much better

You could travel a world
But you can't runaway
From the person
You are in your heart

You could be
Who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark

If you're searching for the truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense
Of what you can see

Just be

Just be

They say learning
To love yourself
Is the first step that you take
When you want to be real

Flying on planes
To exotic locations
Won't teach you
How beauty feels

Face up to the fact
That you are
Who you are
And nothing can change that belief

Just be

Just be

Cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go .
That I respond
It's inside me

I need to just be
Just be

Just be

Just be

Just be

I was lost and I'm still lost
But I feel so much better

Cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
That I respond
It's inside me

I need to just be
Just be



"What dragon species are you? (Stunning pics)"

Wind Dragon
You rule along side the lightning dragon, you co-exist and make a destiny bond. While the lightning dragon manifests the storm, you push the power force of the winds to help drive the power into the storm.  ¶ 6/08/2005 10:37:00 AM 0 comments

  Randomness is the true order of the world Beauty, truth, friendship, love, creation – these are the great values of life. We can’t prove them, or explain them, yet they are the most stable things in our lives.
-- Jesse Herman Holmes

Been hanging in there the last few days. Yesterday was slow and dragging. By the time I got home, I was so worn out and I think I even passed out on my bed for a little bit. Whoops!! Got back up, showered, made dinner and read/ate/watched tv until it was time to hit the sack. Then the power went out last night and some idiots decided to wander around outside talking at the top of their lungs. Not very respectful. Parker was going nuts because he could here them and Matt was getting pissed. He had to tell them three times to shut up before really getting pissed off. And then they wanted to get an attitude; not surprising for neighborhood, I guess. The mother finally came out and he told her that people were trying to sleep and they needed to keep it down or go somewhere else. Sure 'nough did they leave! The power came back on an hour later or so and my tv was almost at full blast..scared the hell outta me. I had a hard time sleeping the rest of the night. And then today has just been one of THOSE days, so I am so ready to just curl up somewhere and hide from everything for a little peace.

Music playing: "Dark Beat" by Oscar G & Ralph Falcon feat. OBA Frank Lord's and "I'm Waiting" by Johnny Vicious feat Aubrey

  ¶ 6/08/2005 10:04:00 AM 0 comments

  I always try to remember this.... Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.
-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe



Songs for the day:
Aubrey: Willing and Able
So Pure! feat. Sheleen Thomas: Changes
Amber: Anyway (Men are from Mars)
Pulse: Lover that You are 2000
Sneak Pimps: Spin Spin Sugar  ¶ 6/07/2005 10:10:00 AM 0 comments

  Superpowers....
Your power is: Transportation

Explanation: To simplify matters you can,
all in all, transport your way to places. This
helps you get to places faster and be more
efficent. In combat that is also good since
your enemy will not know where you are and you
can get suprise attacks on him/her. For evil
purposes you can break in to banks, etc. and rob
places. For good purposes you can save people
kidnapped in places (if you know where they
are) etc.
As a person you are always on the go and don't
like not having anything to do. You see boredom
as useless and try to avoid it. Therefor you
have many friends that can keep you occupied.
Other characteristics are that you're a nice
and easy-going person, and maybe even popular.
You are impulsive, energetic and just someone
looking for a fun time and adventures. People
can't be bored with you.
Negative aspects: You have a tendancy to
not stick with people and can get enemies when
you're not loyal. You can also back-talk people
which will make you less liked.

What Power is Compatible With You?
brought to you by Quizilla  ¶ 6/07/2005 07:18:00 AM 0 comments

  Today What can I say...it has been a true stereotypical Monday. You know the one, the day where you just wish you could curl back up in bed and sleep the day away because things don't want to work the way you would really really like it to. That has been today. I didn't get to bed until late last night because I had a hard time passing out, woke up a few hours later and finally ended up getting up when the alarm went off at 6am. I should have just taken the Zyrtec and taken my chances this morning.

DB Boulevard "Point of View" (White Party 2003 courtesy of Masterbeat)
I don't have a cent
Will I pay my rent
And even my car doesn't work
Me and my man, he's the one
To die for, we have split up

* Can't you see, life's easy
If you consider things
From another point of view
Ahhh, ah-ha yeah
In another way
From another point of view

** (Yeah, yeah, yeah) ahhh, ah-ha yeah
In another way
From another point of view

I see life and lights
All the colours of the world
So beautiful won't you come with me
I've seen birds and trees
All the flowers of the world
So beautiful won't you come with me

Well, over the weekend my roommate told me about some stuff that was written about me online by someone I had attempted a relationship with. I finally read the blog this morning and was not very thrilled. A lot of dealt with feelings that he had during the time that we were trying to talk that he didn't feel pertinent to inform me about. He made some comments that really hurt such as "I felt this person was not in tune with anyone's emotions but his own.", "I perceive him to be a very hateful, uncompromising, and emotionally unstable", "I got an "ah ha" that perhaps that was his MO, to create negative and turbulent situations to keep up with some sort of self gratification." I have never been that sort of person, as many of my friends can attest. He stated (and this is somewhat paraphrased) that it was not his job to figure them out (regarding feelings). A person's feelings define a lot of who they are, as do their experiences. If you truly wish to get to know someone, then you need to be willing to find that out and be willing to dive deep inside of someone. (THAT is figuratively speaking of course.) Then he unwittingly made a jab of "May in my opinion was a very bad month and is a carry over from April. Mainly because I had some personal conflicts with myself in reference to a guy I was seeing. It was one of those situations where one should know better. It is rare I let personal bleed into personal/professional, but I feel the main reason is because I honestly don't date like others do in terms of numbers. Perhaps I expected too much. Let me highlight the reasons for my dilemma: He was significantly younger and had not shared similar life experiences I have had." Everyone has their own experiences that will end up defining who they are as a person as they get older. I had my own painful experiences, and he states that he did too. I don't doubt him on that, but don't expect everyone to go through the same thing. I didn't tell him a lot of what I went through because I wasn't prepared emotionally to deal with ghosts from the past; it hurt too much. A later blog entry regarding a recent dinner date states "He is a little older than me, but it seems the older guys have much more in common to me than younger as their life experiences have not had the accelerated growth mine has had." (his date that night) It is not the age that matters on things. If you want things to work out for any reason, whether it is love or friendship, you learn all that you can, one step at a time, and never make any assumptions. The first assumption made can unmake all that has been put together.

With this entry, I close the door to a chapter in my life of the last month. I apologize to him again for distracting him from his goals, and causing him so much pain. I am not always an easy person to date as I can be very independent, and not many understand that. But I do wish him the best with himself, and hope that the last month has taught him a few things as it has me. I take the next step forward into the unknown.

And so I close this with the lyrics from Vonda Shepard's "Searchin' My Soul"...
I've been down this road walkin' the line
That's painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just can't hide
Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now I'm ready to sing

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind
Oh I've been thinking of you for a long time
There's a side of my life where I've been blind and so...

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
I've been searchin' my soul tonight
Don't wanna be alone in life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

Baby I been holding back now my whole life
I've decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind
Oh I belive I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together now I'm ready to live

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
I've been searchin' my soul tonight
Don't wanna be alone in my life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test.
-- Elbert Hubbard  ¶ 6/06/2005 10:40:00 AM 0 comments

  hey...i found this
You're Mr. Happy! Good for you! :D


Which of the Mr. Men characters are you?
brought to you by Quizilla  ¶ 6/06/2005 10:35:00 AM 0 comments

  Dragon Soul....
You are a silver dragon. The rarest kind of dragon.
You are noble yet avoid humans as much as
possible. You are the guardian of the
defensless and you rule the skies.


Which Dragon resides in your soul?
brought to you by Quizilla  ¶ 6/03/2005 10:26:00 AM 1 comments

  A couple of quotes It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly.
-- Mabel Newcomber

Beauty, truth, friendship, love, creation – these are the greatvalues of life. We can’t prove them, or explain them, yet they arethe most stable things in our lives.
-- Jesse Herman Holmes


dancing at desk to: Amber remixed, and random mixed CD containing Anastacia's "Boom!"  ¶ 6/03/2005 07:21:00 AM 0 comments

  I'm baack!! Hey folks,

Yeah, I know, it has been a long time since I have been around. Sorry..couldn't help that. Been a little busy. Here is a little recap of recent events:
Worked loads of hours...joy. I am so worn out from that. During this time period, me and Patrick had decided to just go to being friends and go from there. If things got better with us and we got more comfortable, then we would see about dating again. Cattiness still reigned supreme though.
Went through a few weeks of working and just trying to recover...wasn't easy. Allergies were still killing me and that kept me down.
Went out to see Star Wars with Pat and Matt. Had a good time at the movie (although I was still extremely catty with Pat). Hmm..wonder if that was a sign of something. Get back and Pat makes an abrubt disappearance, startling both me and Matt. Go online, see him and try to talk. Get ignored, and then start getting upset with comments he was making in the main chat room. Sorry...you don't start screwing with me like that. Made decision to hit the club that night...had a blast. Of course reminded why I don't visit that often, but had a blast all the same. Danced with friends, chatted with friends, and danced with a very cute gentleman. Was probably PG13 dancing. LOL
Sunday decided to get some sun. Ended up a little burned, but that is okay. Met up with Johnny (from the night before) and hung out for a bit before we ended up at Carver's place for dinner. Had a good time there...performed a little cannibalism (eating chicken that is...). Kissed briefly.
Dealt with the blow that my car was actually going to be more to fix than the original estimate. Damn. And to find that out while going to the allergist for testing. It rains, it pours, I got drenched. Put the car on hold...dealt with my arms itching and turning into major welts. Never doing that again. Did dinner with Johnny and friends...enjoyed myself.
Week went by...worked. Joy. Partied Saturdy night and then again on Figure Eight Island for the holiday. Spent Monday recovering. Finally did the deed Monday morning...still a little marked from it, but not even caring. I enjoyed myself and that is all that really mattered.

The one thing that I really notice about Johnny is that he understands situations more than he lets on...and I feel really comfortable with him. We had a big discussion about my past and current events, and he didn't try to talk down to me. He was willing to step back if needed so that I could get things straightened out...not many are willing to do that. I don't feel like I have to be a catty bitch around him either...I am in good moods at work, sleeping easier (although that could also be helped with the allergy meds I am on), and overall a bit easier to be around. I actually am growing into the person I was meant to be, and not succumb to the bitch that was ruling. I finally feel happy again. Maybe this will mean that my moods will even out more. Only time can tell.

Hugs and kisses to ya, Johnny...thanks for being there.

Have the courage and the wisdom and the vision to raise a definite
standard that will appeal to the best that is in man, and then strive
mightily toward that goal.

-- Harold E. Stassen

Current Music: Royal Gigolos "California Dreaming"
Tiesto feat. BT "Love Comes Again"
Narcotic Thrust "I Like It"
courtesy of Ultra Dance 05  ¶ 6/01/2005 04:31:00 AM 1 comments