Ripple Effect Tuesday yet again. This week is going so slowly right now…but time is passing slowly. I have 24 more days until I can sign the lease to my new apartment and I can’t wait! The only thing I am not looking forward to is the packing up everything part. I have way too much stuff. Half of my furniture is going to be left behind for Matt, I think. I was looking at the apartment and honestly don’t see how, even with my manipulation of space, I can fit all the extra furniture in. And I still need a dresser or something that I can store my clothes! I have no clue how I have managed for the last few years without one. I t seems such an integral part of life!

The only feature about the apartment that I am not liking is the fact that the living room wall bordering my bedroom is short…and also has the thermostat on it. Their placement of the thermostat wasn’t very smart, either. For some reason, it was only placed halfway up the wall. Oh well. At least my entertainment center can sit there and I can just reach through that if I need to change the temperature any. But, hopefully I won’t have to worry about it much…I have fans in both rooms. That is a first as well. I haven’t had a fan since I lived with my parents…air circulation here I come!!!!! LOL Yeah, I am a little giddy about this. The joys of living on my own again, and ‘owning’ my own place…kinda can’t wait! Me and Matt talked about it some last night…he is scared that I will forget him when I move out. I know that I won’t…but I also know that we will have our own lives and that sometimes makes it a little harder, especially since he thinks that he will not have much of a life working two jobs. But only time can tell, right?

Okay…I guess I better get started on my work this morning. Try to stay on top of things again…although that usually is not hard for me to do. Maybe I will actually work on the other things I have been promising now for the last few months. And I have new ideas popping into my head that I need to work on as well.

And one more thing, before I forget. I mentioned last week that I added a new piercing to my collection. For those who seem to be a little freaked, Prince Albert did not visit me again. I had him removed from my repertoire a few years back. But his cousin, Duke Frenum has taken up existence. (Google that if you aren’t sure what it it is…and it is only a start if I continue with my original lines of thought for Sir Jacob) And no, it did not hurt more than a pinch, and there is only a slight irritation (no tight fitting undies unless truly needed, although I tend to commando it more often than not). Just in case you were interested in knowing.

Words from the Dalai Lama
When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

This observation, that emotion and consciousness are not the same thing, tells us that we do not have to be controlled by our thoughts and emotions.


Song of the morning: Natasha Bedingfield - Drop Me in the Middle  ¶ 2/28/2006 04:39:00 AM 0 comments

  Another result of wandering around online... Another piece of interest, found on Scene 404 titled as “The gay experience reduced to its truest essence.”


Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.   ~Samuel Ullman
  ¶ 2/27/2006 10:12:00 AM 0 comments

  5.5 hours and bored Got bored at work today…go figure. Decided that I would go check on some old websites I haven’t visited to in awhile…or that I am able to check from work. They have put a block on some sites, and I haven’t figured out why. And that sucks, especially when I am wanting to see what has been up with Ethan lately. He was so sweet and wished me a happy birthday last week, and it has been awhile since we talked with each other. I miss him.

But, anyway… I went to go and check out Eric Himan again. Major cutie, plays a great guitar, and sings what he wants to, not what others tell him. And, it seems, he has a great sense of humour. I like that. Anyway…check out this video that was posted over at Gay.com.

And check this guy, Tamrin, out!!! I found him over at Connexion and nearly fell out of my chair! 6 foot, 3 inches, former Marine and just got a record deal in Nashville, TN. One word. DAMN!!!
Tie me down and fcuk me three ways 'til Sunday!  ¶ 2/27/2006 09:22:00 AM 0 comments

  Miss me? I’m BAAAAAACK!!

Nothing spectacular for this past weekend. I skipped the travels to Charlotte, opting for the Myrtle Beach visit instead. The parents didn’t drive me as insane as normal, although now mom is contradicting her original word regarding helping me with school. So, I guess I will have to see there. Hmm… Didn’t get the laptop that I was hoping for, though, so my other plans went AWOL there. Can’t complain, I did manage to relax a bit, and Todd got me the RENT DVD that I asked for! Too bad there wasn’t a man tied up in a red ribbon for me, though. That would have been a spectacular birthday day then! I have watched RENT three times already since I got it last Thursday, and each time I start crying when it comes to the funeral scene. Will I ever get past that and the memories of Darrell?

Talked to the apartment complex manager as well. Another piece of good news there! I move March 24th into my new apartment. Third floor, one bordering wall…can’t complain! Well, maybe I will be after moving everything up two flights of stairs, but what can you do? I don’t like living below people!

But, back to the drudge of work…so holla at ya’ll later!


Buddhist Inspirations
Kindly let the power of your compassion arise, To quickly stem the flow of blood and tears. Those unrelentingly cruel ones, objects of compassion, Maddened by delusion's evils, wantonly destroy themselves and others; May they achieve the eye of wisdom, knowing what must be done and undone, And abide in the glory of friendship and love. May this heartfelt wish of total freedom for all Tibet, Which has been awaited for a long time, be spontaneously fulfilled; Please grant soon the good fortune to enjoy The happy celebration of spiritual with temporal rule.

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Let your love flow outward through the universe, To its height, its depth, its broad extent, A limitless love, without hatred or enmity. Then as you stand or walk, Sit or lie down, As long as you are awake, Strive for this with a one-pointed mind; Your life will bring heaven to earth.

May all beings be filled with joy and peace. May all beings everywhere, The strong and the weak, The great and the small, The mean and the powerful, The short and the long, the subtle and the gross: May all beings everywhere, Seen and unseen, Dwelling far off or nearby, Being or waiting to become: May all be filled with lasting joy. Let no one deceive another, Let no one anywhere despise another, Let no one out of anger or resentment Wish suffering on anyone at all. Just as a mother with her own life Protects her child, her only child, from harm, So within yourself let grow A boundless love for all creatures.

By the power and the truth of this practice, may all beings have happiness, and the causes of happiness. May all be free from sorrow, and the causes of sorrow. May all never be separated from the sacred happiness which is sorrowless. And may all live in equanimity, without too much attachment and too much aversion, And live believing in the equality of all that lives.

Misc Quotes
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf

You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come to you because you are depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings, and then the outer things will come to correspond, and indeed there is no other way of working. ~Emmet Fox

from the Dalai Lama
Where ignorance is our master, there is no possibility of real peace.

Compassion is not religious business, it is human business, it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability, it is essential for human survival.

I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It is the ultimate source of success in life.

The fact that there is always a positive side to life is the one thing that gives me a lot of happiness. This world is not perfect. There are problems. But things like happiness and unhappiness are relative. Realizing this gives you hope.  ¶ 2/27/2006 05:51:00 AM 0 comments

  Happy Birthday to me!
25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25! 25!

Happy Birthday to me!!!!!

Oh, and don't I look so cute so early in the morning on the way to work? LOL

Have a great day, folks!

There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.
-- James Truslow Adams

(Oh...and as a birthday present to myself, I have added to my piercing collection...in a place you would probably last expect. ;-) Not telling!! )

  ¶ 2/22/2006 03:12:00 AM 6 comments

  The countdown is coming to a close... Hey folks!

As you know, Wednesday will officially make me 25 years young, although I feel about three or four centuries old from everything that I have done and gone through at this point in life. But, I keep on trekking, keeping on keeping on. So, the countdown continues at seventeen hours left until the fateful hour.

I will also be gone for a few days, returning on Monday. I have decided to take a trek home and play with the parents for a little bit….one of those teaser visits that make them want more. Is that evil? Actually, I have a few things that I will be doing up in Raleigh over the next few days, including catching up with a few old friends. So, it should be fun. Plus, I am going to try to relax a little bit and enjoy myself. See how well that works. So, I will leave you with this Friday’s movie releases a few days early…help you plan out your weekend a little bit.

Nationwide Release
Doogal – Whoopi Goldberg, Jimmy Fallon, William H. Macy
Running Scared – Paul Walker, Cameron Bright
Tyler Perry’s Madea Family Reunion – Tyler Perry, Blair Underwood, Maya Angelou

Limited Release
Tsotsi - Presley Chweneyagae, Mothusi Magano
Illusion – Kirk Douglas, Richmond Arquette
Unknown White Male (Expanding in March)
Dirty – Cuba Gooding, Jr., Wyclef Jean
Taxi 9211 – John Abraham, Nana Patekar


Also, just as a reminder, the HRC is holding its 11th Annual HRC Carolinas Dinner and Silent Auction in Charlotte, NC, February 25th, at the Charlotte Convention Center. Tickets are $195, and the dinner starts around 7pm. For more information, please visit the website. And, in honor of this, Club Velocity will be holding the ‘official HRC gala dinner afterparty.’ They have brought in DJ Bermudez, with a special appearance/performance by the International Recording Artist, KRISTINE W!

Whatever you decide to do this weekend, I hope that you have the best of fun. I will be hopefully having the same amount of fun…



Words from the Dalai Lama~
Occasionally people who do not have a proper knowledge of karmic law say that such and such person is very kind and religious, but he always has problems, whereas so and so is very deceptive and negative, but always seems very successful. Such people may think that there is no karmic law at all. There are others who go to the other extreme and become superstitious, thinking that when someone experiences illness, it is all due to harmful spirits. However, there is a definite relation between causes and effects: that actions not committed will never produce an effect; and that once committed, actions will never lose their potentiality.  ¶ 2/21/2006 04:03:00 AM 2 comments

  Just couldn't resist!!
You like to be tied up and/or tie other people up.

Your'e into bondage, aren't you? Its ok; be cool

with your kinky self :D I know lots of

people into this kind of thing.


What is your secret kink?
brought to you by Quizilla  ¶ 2/20/2006 12:10:00 PM 0 comments

  Its Time It's time to start living the life you've imagined.

-- Henry James  ¶ 2/20/2006 07:44:00 AM 0 comments

  Another manic Monday... You need strength; love is not easy...
It's not easy if you find (it),
it's not easy if you don't find it.
It's not easy if you find it but it doesn't work out.
It merely says the strong survive, but not everybody is strong.

Words to definitely keep in mind as we move through life. And words I definitely need to keep remembering. Had some recent ‘issues’ but nothing that I won’t get through. Allowance of feelings can be very complicated at times. But, I am strong and have gotten through worse; that I definitely know.

Only two more days until I am officially 25 years old. NO!! I don’t wanna grow old!

But, here’s to a better week than last. We shall see what happens this week to destroy me.

Words from the Dalai Lama:
I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.

A truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you. Whether one believes in religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion.

THE FOUR IMMEASURABLES
SEM-CHEN TAM-CHE DE-WA-DANG - How wonderful it would be if all sentient beings had happiness and
DE-WAY GYU-DANG DEN-NA CHI-MA-RUNG - the cause of happiness! May they have happiness and its cause.
DEN-PA GYUR-CHIG DEN-PA DAG-GI CHA-WO - I myself will make them have happiness and its cause.
DE-TAR CHE NU-PAR LAMA-LHA JIN-GYI LAB-TU-SOL - Please, Guru Deities, bless me to be able to do this. [The Limitless Compassion Meditation.]

Words from F. Hawes:
Aim at the sun and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if you had aimed at an object on a level with yourself.

Words from Salman Rushdie:
Because I've always felt, whether the fatwa or whatever, the writer's great weapon is the truth and integrity of his voice. And as long as what you're saying is what you truly, honestly believe to be the case, then whatever the consequences, that's fine. That's an honorable position.

Song of the morning: Love Heals, bonus track as sung by the cast of RENT  ¶ 2/20/2006 04:33:00 AM 0 comments

  Final thoughts of the week. This past week has been a complete bust from day one. Going from slowing things severely with lil’ Matt, to getting into a detailed discussion with a close friend about our status again, to arguing with the roommate…and trying to work through a tension headache to prevent it from hitting migraine status at the same time. I have been a complete wreck and I know one person who has tried to stick through it. Of course, he is also the person that I have had the hardest time with this week.

There is such a strong desire in me to release inner feelings and say damn the world. But I can’t. For myself, or for the other people involved. There is no way around that part. It is yet again another point of trying to master the emotions that run roiled through my body and soul. And it doesn’t help when I know that what is going through me right now is very real. Not any sort of infatuation, although I seriously wish it were. But real feelings that don’t want to be put down.

I now toil with the task of trying to keep everything in check. To not wish for the next step to happen. To continue on in my own life and see if there is someone out there who can be as compatible as my best friend. But he has to be more than just a friend. Or at least, in time, be willing to be more. But I know that my friend does what he does for a reason, and the scary part is that I can understand it.

So, I guess it is a case of sit back and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts…and hope that I don’t get thrown out of the car in the process. Either that or slam into a brick wall. I think I have hit enough of those now already. Kinda funny, though, because I don’t normally equate my life with songs or movies…but it is almost like scenes from GRAVITATION…an anime show from Japan. Only minus the famous people.

  ¶ 2/17/2006 12:08:00 PM 0 comments

  USA Olympic Medals so far... Alpine skiing- Men's combined- Gold- Ted Ligety
Speedskating- 500 meters- Gold- Joey Cheek
Snowboarding- Snowboardcross- Gold- Seth Wescott
Snowboarding- Women's halfpipe- Gold- Hannah Teter
Snowboarding- Men's halfpipe- Gold- Shaun White
Speedskating- 5,000 meters- Gold- Chad Hedrick
Snowboarding- Women's halfpipe- Silver- Gretchen Bleiler
Snowboarding- Men's halfpipe- Silver- Daniel Kass
Freestyle skiing- Moguls- Bronze- Toby Dawson  ¶ 2/17/2006 04:44:00 AM 1 comments

  Friday, Friday, Friday!   ¶ 2/17/2006 04:15:00 AM 0 comments

  Trials and tribulations (isn't that a song lyric?) Trials, temptations, disappointments -- all these are helps instead of hindrances, if one uses them rightly. They not only test the fibre of a character, but strengthen it. Every conquered temptation represents a new fund of moral energy. Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.

-- James Buckham


And in case anyone really cares…I just had seven studies lock in the last two months.  Yippee!!!!!!!!!  ¶ 2/16/2006 11:09:00 AM 0 comments

  Nearing the end of the week... Sorry…don’t have much to actually write about today. Only six more days until I reach that quarter century mark. Yippee!! LOL

So, I will just leave you with some quotes.


From the Dalai Lama~
If through practice of insight you develop a sense of ease, then time has no relevance. If you’re miserable, time does matter. It’s so unbearable, so enormous you want to get out of it as soon as possible.

If any sensible person thinks deeply, he will respect justice. There is an inborn appreciation and respect for justice within our human body. In children, we find what is natural to be the human character. But as they grow up, they develop a lot of conditioning and wrong attitudes. I often feel there is more truthfulness in a small child and I find reasons to have confidence in human courage and human nature.


Phillips Brooks (1835-1893) American Bishop~
Some day, in years to come, you will be wrestling with the great temptation, or trembling under the great sorrow of your life. But the real struggle is here, now, in these quiet weeks. Now it is being decided whether, in the day of your supreme sorrow or temptation, you shall miserably fail or gloriously conquer. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process.

Khyabje Dudjom's Best Wishes~
DZAM LING CHI DANG YUL KHAM DI DAG TU,
NED MUG TSHON SOK DUG NGAL MIG MI DRAG,
CHÖ DAN SO NAM PAL JOR GONG DU PHEL ,
TAG TU TASHI DE LEG PHUN TSHOG SHOG.

At this very instance, for all people and nations of Earth,
Let not even the words "disease," 'famine,""war" and "suffering" be heard,
But may virtue, merit, wealth and plenty increase,
And auspiciousness and well-being ever abound.  ¶ 2/16/2006 04:37:00 AM 0 comments

  Hump Day in the Cold This week has been pretty slow for me. Still single, not that that part is anything new. But, I am cool with that. I know that I am not really ready to start plunging into anything heavy at the moment. At least, not until I get settled in at my new place (hopefully by the end of March!), and get everything else worked out. So, right now, I casually date when I can find people who are willing to understand, and spend time with my friends that have always been close to me. Now is the time for me to be slightly selfish and focus on myself and do what I feel is right for me. Maybe later on I can focus on someone else.

Me and one of my seriously close friends/significant other (we aren’t dating, but we are definitely more than just friends) had a discussion the other day regarding relationships. I kinda agree with him, but there is some that I don’t agree with. He stated, “…you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. However, many people (especially gay men) feel that having that relationship will “fix” anything that may be wrong in their lives. They get “security” from that relationship. While it may be a quick (and all too temporary) fix, the insecurities will inevitably find their way into the relationship. Misery may love company, but in the end most people are still just miserable together.

“Many persons see that as the relationship failing or that the other person is not “the one.” Well, there is no “one” person who will forever be the keystone of another person’s life. Long-term happiness and contentment come from within each individual. No person can MAKE another person happy. The true satisfaction of any relationship is being able to share with each other the happiness that is within each other.”

And that is probably true. I know that the insecurities that me or my partner had did end up driving things apart because we didn’t know how to deal with them. That is why I have spent so much time learning myself and working on evaluating what has made me feel so “wrong.” And, I think I have come to a good point. A rebirth of sorts, if I may say so. That is why my latest tattoo that Jonathan is working on with me is so important. They are going to be angel wings of sorts, ripping through the skin of my back. A sign of my rebirth and renewal. After that one, I think I will go back to working on designs for friends and other people. But, I also think that we do get happiness from the person we are with, as well; probably due to being able to share our contentment with them, and enjoying new experiences.

In other news, I had a friend recently ask me if I would be willing to go with him to Mexico for a mini-vacation. I would love to go…I have never been out of the country, and had been looking into getting my passport awhile back. I even went so far as to request copies of my name-change process so I could request copies of my birth certificate. Of course, now that I am actually looking for that paperwork, I can’t find it. I spent part of the night last night, and some this morning (I was up at 4am again) trying to find it. I located my diploma! But no sign of the required paperwork. So, it looks like I will have to restart the process all over again. I don’t even know how I started it before!!! Back to square one. When I get moved, I am so going to purchase a damn filing cabinet so I can keep all this stuff together in one place!! My accordion binder is falling apart and needs replacement.

And, I have also requested information from the Art Institute branch in Charlotte, NC, to find out about their graphic design program. I just need to look into a landscape architecture program somewhere, too, and then I can really start planning for heading back to school. Slow and surely, this turtle is going to win at something!


Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for?
~Robert Browning  ¶ 2/15/2006 05:08:00 AM 0 comments

  A little randomness "We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society. It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground."
~Pema Chodron

I know that today is about love, but I still thought that this is appropriate.  We blame others for things that we don’t like, or when things go wrong.  Sometimes that blame is valid; other times not.  The skill is learning when and where the place the blame for all.

And one more thing.  Can someone please define casual dating?  It seems that there are several definitions floating around out there as to the meaning of that, and no one can agree to one thing.

Have a great day!

Song of the morning:  “Every time we touch” by Cascada  ¶ 2/14/2006 04:48:00 AM 2 comments

  Happy Valentine's Day

Just wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day. Hope that you are able to spend it with someone special to you.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. ~The Dalai Lama

  ¶ 2/14/2006 04:07:00 AM 1 comments

  ... Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world.

-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer

  ¶ 2/13/2006 12:06:00 PM 0 comments

  Just another Monday. Nothing major to report. Not looking forward to tomorrow, but what else is new there.

Not sure if I am going to let things go further with this new little kid I have been talking to lately. Things have been screaming to stop it, even though he is cute and I do care for him a bit. But a lot of what he has been saying in the last couple of weeks doesn’t sit right with me, tears at my patience actually, and I don’t think that he is ready for something yet. I know that I am not fully ready…not until I at least get settled into my new place. I will see.

Have a great Monday…it already feels like shit to me.


"Compassionate action starts with seeing yourself when you start to make yourself right and when you start to make yourself wrong. At that point you could just contemplate the fact that there is a larger alternative to either of those, a more tender, shaky kind of place where you could live." ~Pema Chodron


Are there not... Two points in the adventure of the diver: One -- when a beggar, he prepares to plunge? Two -- when a prince, he rises with his pearl? I plunge! ~Robert Browning

I always believe that it is much ebtter to have a variety of religions, a variety of philosophies, rather than one single religion or philosophy. This is necessary because of the different mental dispositions of each human being. Each religion has certain unique ideas or techniques, and learning about them can only enrich one's own faith. ~The Dalai Lama

"There's a reason you can learn from everything: you have basic wisdom, basic intelligence, and basic goodness." ~Pema Chodron

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. ~The Dalai Lama





This is a picture of my cousin, Steven. Just thought that I would share.  ¶ 2/13/2006 04:00:00 AM 1 comments

  The Inner Critic I have to thank Vince for the material for this post. This is something that I think we all need to remember once in awhile...I know that I am very guilty for letting the inner critic scream at me all the time.


Our inner critic is the internal voice of negative judgmental self talk. It is the nagging feeling, the inner voice that makes us critical of ourselves and others. It is postulated that our inner critic developed early in life as a mechanism for reminding us of childhood rules and standards that we internalized about how we were supposed to think, feel and behave.

We learn to be critical of ourselves as we learn to march to the drummer of others wants and needs, we learn to be critical of others when they do not conform to what we want or expect. The inner critic speaks loudly in judgment of ourselves and other people. It is a voice that yearns to castigate. It is the voice of enslavement to our egos and to the wants of others. Sometimes our inner critic will leave us with feelings of self doubt; sometimes it will allow us to feel negative and critical of others. When we listen to our inner critic, we listen to negativity that separates us from our best self and also from others.

Our best personal and professional selves come from a place of self love and acceptance. When we can truly love and accept ourselves we can also see those in our world as collaborators on our path of personal learning. Love is a path which brings us closer to the seed of creation and to a place where we can grow, learn and to share joy with others. We are all partners on a human journey, and the greatest challenge in our roadmap to personal and professional success is to cleave to our humanity, to the values of sharing and caring that make us brothers and sisters on the road of life.

Take TODAY to stomp out the voice of your inner critic; to free yourself from self imposed negativity and judgment. Silence all criticism and negativity for 24 hours. Concentrate only on the good in yourself and in others that you meet and interact with. Give the inner critic a day off, and in so doing spend a day with your highest, greatest and best self.



Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight. ~ Helen Keller (1880-1968) American Writer

Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality. ~ Dalai Lama  ¶ 2/10/2006 06:44:00 AM 1 comments

  Freaky Friday Not much to actually report, although it is going to be interesting starting in with a kid right now.  Well, not so much kid as in a ten year old…more like someone who is younger than me.  A sweet guy and seems to know what he wants to be doing, but there are some issues of his that I think might end up getting in the way if he is not careful.  And it seems like we are moving a different speeds with getting to know each other as well….but we will have to see how that ends up going.  In the meantime, I am going to stick with what I am doing now.  That has gotten me through everything else, why not this?  

But, here is the new releases that I always promise.  Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.


Nationwide
Curious George – voices of Will Ferrell, Drew Barrymore
The Pink Panther – Beyonce, Steve Martin, Kevin Kline
Final Destination 3 (okay, I think one was actually enough here) – Ryan Merriman
Firewall – Harrison Ford, Virginia Madsen

Limited Release
London – Jessica Biel, Chris Evans
Neil Young: Heart of Gold – Neil Young, Emmylou Harris
Through the Fire – Sebastian Telfair

Coming Attractions
Date Movie
Freedomland
Eight Below



"We feel we're supposed to be better than we are in some way. But with this practice you take yourself completely as you are. Then ironically, taking in pain - breathing it in for yourself and all others in the same boat as you are - heightens your awareness of exactly where you're stuck."        ~Pema Chodron
Every man's work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself.
        ~Samuel Butler (1835-1902) English Writer

Humans are of such nature that they should have not only material facilities but spiritual sustenance as well.  Without spiritual sustenance, it is difficult to get and maintain peace of mind.
      ~The Dalai Lama
  ¶ 2/10/2006 04:26:00 AM 1 comments

  Grammy recap... So I managed to finally stay awake and watch the entirety of the Grammys last night for the very first time.  That was a shock.  Especially as I was receiving a reminder that when you open a bottle of wine, make sure you drink it within a week of opening.  Oh, and don’t ever mix red wine and sushi…they don’t always go the best.  LOL

Noteworthy Awards
Record of the Year:      Green Day
Album of the Year:      U2
Song of the Year:     U2
Best New Artist:      John Legend
Best Female Pop Vocalist:      Kelly Clarkson
Best Male Pop Vocalist:      Stevie Wonder
Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals:      Gorillaz
Best Pop Vocal Album:      Kelly Clarkson
Best Dance Recording:      The Chemical Brothers
Best Electronic/Dance Album:      The Chemical Brothers
Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance:      Bruce Springsteen
Best Rock Song:      U2
Best Rock Album:      U2
Best Female R&B Vocal Performance:      Mariah Carey
Best Male R&B Vocal Performance:      John Legend
Best Traditional R&B Vocal Performance:      Aretha Franklin
Best Rap Solo:      Kanye West
Best Rap Performance by Duo/Group:      Black Eyed Peas
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration:      Jay-Z/Linkin Park
Best Male Country Vocal:      Keith Urban
Best Country Album:      Alison Krauss and Union Station
Best Latin Rock/Alternative Album:      Shakira
Best Song Written for Motion Picture, etc:      Believe as sung by Josh Groban
Best Short Form Music Video:      Missy Elliot

Performances of Note
Madonna and The Gorillaz
Coldplay
Sugarland
U2 and Mary J. Blige
Kelly Clarkson
Bruce Springsteen
Paul McCartney
Kanye West and Jamie Foxx
Faith Hill and Keith Urban
Jay-Z, Linkin Park and Paul McCartney
Mariah Carey (although her first song was lip-sinc’d)
Tribute to Sly and the Family Stone (featuring Joss Stone, Ciara, Fantasia, John Legend, Maroon 5, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, Devin Lima, Robert Randolph)
Christina Aguilera and Herbie Hancock

"I can't do it" never yet accomplished anything: "I will try" has accomplished wonders.     ~George P. Burnham

"We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves."     ~Pema Chodron




  ¶ 2/09/2006 04:13:00 AM 2 comments

  News story.... Thank god for my co-workers…..one of my friends found the details of the story in the local newspaper…it follows below.


From the Wilmington Star News
Article published Feb 7, 2006Restaurant reaches settlement with fired HIV-positive workerAn out-of-court settlement was reached Friday in the case of a Wrightsville Beach restaurant employee who claimed he was fired in July 2004 because he was HIV-positive.The idea that Aron Pelela presented a health risk to co-workers and customers is wrong, a New Hanover Health Department employee said Monday.Pelela, now 31, was a cook at Mike & Katy’s Causeway Café, 114 Causeway Drive, when he was dismissed. Pelela filed a wrongful termination federal lawsuit in October claiming the restaurant violated the Americans with Disabilities Act, which protects people from discrimination based on disabilities.The lawsuit was filed in U.S. District Court in Wilmington. Details of the settlement remain confidential. As part of the agreement, Causeway Café agreed to establish and implement a nondiscriminatory policy regarding the hiring and retention of employees infected with HIV, along with informational training sessions for all full-time workers.A lawyer for owner David Monaghan said Monday that there never was a discriminatory policy in place at the restaurant, and other undisclosed issues played a role in Pelela’s firing.Pelela, who lives in Wilmington, was not available Monday for comment. After he was fired, he retained Raleigh lawyer Joyce L. Davis, who contacted Lambda Legal, a national organization that advocates for the civil rights of people with HIV and others, including lesbians, gays and bisexuals.Lambda Legal took up Pelela’s cause.“There will be some compensation going to Mr. Pelela,” said Greg Nevins, of Lambda Legal’s Southern regional office in Atlanta. “He not only wanted something for him but to make sure it didn’t happen again.”Nevins said Pelela told his supervisor at the restaurant that he was HIV-positive, which led to his dismissal less than three weeks after being hired.Pelela was required to present test results “showing that he was HIV negative as a condition of continued employment,” the lawsuit states. As a result of losing his job, Pelela suffered severe emotional distress, loss of wages and loss of other employee benefits, it adds.Monaghan referred comment to his lawyer, Andrew Hanley.“I’m sure we would have been vindicated in court, but this would have cost us an awful lot of money fighting this national organization,” Hanley said. “We’re a restaurant in Wrightsville Beach, and we can’t afford to fight this powerful gay and lesbian lobby. His is a small local business that’s never been sued for discrimination because it has never discriminated.”The bottom line for the restaurant, Hanley said, is this: “Any time someone poses a health risk, my client is going to do the right thing. They couldn’t say Mr. Pelela didn’t pose a health risk to fellow employees or customers.”New Hanover County health officials said Monday that HIV-positive individuals are not a threat in a restaurant setting.“We would say there’s no reason an HIV-positive person cannot work in a restaurant. HIV is not transmitted through food handling,” said Janet McCumbee, New Hanover County Health Department personal health services manager.“There are probably a lot of HIV-positive people working in restaurants. That is something you don’t have to reveal to your boss,” she said.Restaurant employees are not permitted to work if they have an infectious communicable disease such as hepatitis A or salmonella, McCumbee said.“There is no risk of transmission of HIV through the preparation of food, yet misconceptions remain about coming into contact with people who are HIV-positive posing some risk to others,” Nevins said. “There’s a 20-year track record.”Davis said Pelela has been HIV-positive “for a significant period of time” but is asymptomatic.“The most critical point to the agreement is the training and the education. We believe it is very important,” Davis said.After being fired, Pelela filed discrimination charges with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. In August, the EEOC “found reasonable cause to believe that the violations of the statute occurred,” according to the lawsuit.Davis said Pelela presented his restaurant supervisors with literature from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention stating that “food service workers known to be infected with HIV need not be restricted from work unless they have other infections or illnesses,” but he still was fired. Ken Little: 343-2389ken.little@starnewsonline.com
  ¶ 2/08/2006 05:10:00 AM 0 comments

  Moment of outrage Okay, so my roommate sent me a text late last night stating that there was a news story about a Wrightsville Beach, NC, restaurant firing a worker who had HIV.  Of course, there will probably be a lawsuit ensuing.  I hope so.  That is not a fair reason to fire a person.  I have a friend who was fired from his firm for having HIV.  It is a manner of discrimination.  The news station (WWAY TV 3) apparently has not updated their website to show the news story, but they have an online poll asking if someone with HIV should be allowed to work in a restaurant.  So far, 79% have answered in a resounding no.  

So, lets poll.  Should people with Hepatitis C or any other communicable disease be allowed to work in restaurants?  There are so many people out there with various diseases that can be communicated in the same manner, that it seems almost ridiculous to have this sort of discrimination.

Can you tell that this fries me?  I just can’t believe the naivety of the people out there today.


“Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.”
~Anonymous

“When we start out on a spiritual path we often have ideals we think we’re supposed to live up to.”    ~Pema Chodron

“A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.”  ~The Dalai Lama  ¶ 2/08/2006 04:35:00 AM 1 comments

  Morning Quickies Just a quickie update…

The weekend was good…spent time with a friend of mine and got to relax a little bit. Didn’t listen to yelling at the TV for the Super Bowl…was able to catch up some on my Charmed and also my reading.

Best part: I received a letter from Noble House Publishing House of England asking if they could use one of my poems for an upcoming anthology they are assembling. I am pretty excited. It means that I am now getting published outside of ISP (International Society of Poetry). I still don’t get paid for anything yet, but I do get some recognition! Yippee!! The tough part: do I use one of my old poems, or do I create something new. I don’t have long to do it…I need to send it out soon. So, I need to find some time to work on it this week; I guess after work somewhere.

Things are going to be a little busy with work for me right now…I am finally getting into working on my actual job duties. Excitement there. Plus, I am working on some new harness ideas and a possible sling, too. Yes, my freakier side is coming out again. Like I said, I need someone to tie me down and lay it to me good. Still haven’t had any serious takers. But, I am also helping a friend out since he has slacked some with his business. After all, I didn’t pose for nothing!! LOL If you would like to browse some of what he has, please check out Wilmington Leather and you can also email him about having custom-made items prepared. My chest has actually grown a little bit, so the harness I am pictured in may have to be adjusted.

And, yes, I know that I still have catch-up to do. I really should just sit down with a computer at home and save my items to the “stic” and put them online later. Hopefully I will be getting a little laptop from the “Queen Mother” later this month, so I can do that more often.

Hang in there….Tuesdays can’t get too bad!

Quotes of the Day
There is in every true woman's (man’s) heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.
~Washington Irving (1783-1859) American Writer

The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.
~Pema Chodron

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
~The Dalai Lama

Songs of the Day as heard on AOL’s XM Radio
Danielle Bollinger ~ “When the Broken Hearted Love Again”
Lasgo ~ “Surrender”  ¶ 2/07/2006 05:57:00 AM 2 comments

  Just another Monday Despite a pretty good weekend, I really don’t feel like posting much this morning.  Having to work out some issues with some things…ones that I did not actually think would come up so soon.  Go figure; can I really be that stupid?  Apparently so.  So, I am going to just post this and talk to you later this week.

Tequila and SaltThis should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.6. You mean the world to someone.7. You are special and unique.8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.11.  Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!


Quotes of the Day

“Right now, I’m following the Buddhist principle: Smile as abuse is hurled your way and this too shall pass.”      ~Aishwarya Rai

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do.   Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.     ~Aristotle

"Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I vow to cultivate compassion and learn ways to protect lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life."                  ~Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh
And the words of the Dalai Lama:  “Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.”
“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”
  ¶ 2/06/2006 07:41:00 AM 0 comments

  Test Results on a Fun Friday

  ¶ 2/03/2006 09:21:00 AM 0 comments

  Friday has come at last Friday!!  Friday is finally here!!  Yeah!!  I am so ready for this week to be over.  One pitfall after another, but the end of the week has come, and the weekend is going to start soon for me!

Not much actually planned.  Getting my panther touched up after work today…finally.  I had gotten it back in July or August I believe, and have just been delaying getting any touchups done.  Whoops.  I need to paint a bookshelf for a friend, and shred some paperwork, but other than that, we shall see how well I can get relaxed.  I do have a friend coming over on Sunday to look at Kit to see if he might want her.  I hope so!  I think they will be good together.

Okay…so for the last few days I have been extremely horny in the mornings when I wake up.  I did finally get off yesterday morning, but not to any video, DVD or magazine.  It was to images in my head, and boy were they vivid!  Some people know that I do enjoy some slight bondage, and have modeled for a friend who makes leather products.  Plus, I do have my own “supplies.”  Well, these latest images have been me kneeling on a bed with my arms tied together over my head and hanging from a hook in the ceiling.  I had a blindfold on, and the only thing that I knew was that both ends of me were being well used at alternate intervals, sometimes with me just being left hanging there.  Hmm…wonder if it is that time again for me?  Who wants to see me slung up?  LOL  Not everyone crowd in line at once.

I have been noticing that there have been a few people from near my parents house checking this out several times a week.  I am curious because no comments have been left.  I would like to know who they are…after all, I did spend about nine years in the entire Raleigh area.

Anyway, have a great weekend!

Quotes of the Day:

“Hatred does not cease by hatred at any time: hatred ceases by love, this is an old rule.”   ~ The Dhammapad

(On the purpose of Art)... A human activity having for its purpose the transmission of the highest and best feelings to which men have risen.
~Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian Novelist

“In this century we have made remarkable material progress, but basically we are the same as we were thousands of years ago.  Our spiritual needs are still very great.”
~the Dalai Lama

Song of the Day
“For Reasons Unexplained” by Casey Stratton



  ¶ 2/03/2006 07:32:00 AM 4 comments

  Randomness: my speciality Today’s post is pretty random. Been chatting with some new friends on MySpace recently, which is nice. I always enjoy meeting new people and expanding my experiences. Have been in touch with a few old ones as well. My friend Damon is in recovery from surgery right now, and I wish that I could do more to help him out…he seems to get everything thrown at him at one time. He shared this with me earlier today, and I felt that it deserved to be shared with everyone…it is a wish that everyone deserves.

This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

My friend Frank over on Connexion posted this and I thought I would share. Those of you who followed the President’s speech on Tuesday night can research it more and tell us if it true or just another “he said this” type of thing. I am just at the point where I really don’t listen to politicians much, anyway, so my curiosity is piqued.

The President left out a few things when surveying the State of the Nation:
*He proudly spoke of "writing a new chapter in the story of self-government" in Iraq and Afghanistan and said the number of democracies in the world is growing. He failed to mention that neither Iraq nor Afghanistan yet qualify as democracies according to the very group whose statistics he cited.
*Bush called for Congress to pass a line-item veto, failing to mention that the Supreme Court struck down a line-item veto as unconstitutional in 1998. Bills now in Congress would propose a Constitutional amendment, but none have shown signs of life.
*The President said the economy gained 4.6 million jobs in the past two-and-a-half years, failing to note that it had lost 2.6 million jobs in his first two-and-a-half years in office. The net gain since Bush took office is just a little more than 2 million.
*He talked of cutting spending, but only "non-security discretionary spending." Actually, total federal spending has increased 42 percent since Bush took office.
*He spoke of being "on track" to cut the federal deficit in half by 2009. But the deficit is increasing this year, and according to the Congressional Budget Office it will decline by considerably less than half even if Bush's tax cuts are allowed to lapse.
*Bush spoke of a "goal" of cutting dependence on Middle Eastern oil, failing to mention that US dependence on imported oil and petroleum products increased substantially during his first five years in office, reaching 60 per cent of consumption last year.


In other news...

If you order anything through International Male, don’t say yes to anything extra outside your order. I have had to file a fraud claim with my bank due to HDI Connections/TodayEscapes (an affiliate of International Male’s parent company), charging me for a membership that I did not authorize. Which, as a result, sank my account into the pits and created extra work for me. Of course, that also made me realize how much I rely on the internet for transferring money around for easy access. Anyway, HDI refused to look into refunding me the overdraft fees until after I released my bank information to them…something I was NOT going to do at all. Both people that I talked to at that company were rude and snobbish…something that my own personal experience in customer service has shown to be a serious no-no. I had a great bank rep on the phone with me, so she handled most of it for me since I was starting to lose my temper. After hanging up with HDI, she informed me that she had actually found the company and phone number on a fraud website; looks like they have pulled this one before. I guess that means no more shopping at International Male (unless I really must have it!). *Sigh*

Trimmed my hair down last night as well…what do you think? I think it is time to join the Army!


Hope that the week ends on a good note for you…lord knows that I need it for me!


Quotes for the day:

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Life is dear to all. Comparing others with oneself, one should neither kill nor cause to kill." ~The Dhammapada

Love for others and respect for their rights and dignity, no matter who or what they are: ultimately those are all we need. So long as we practice these in our daily lives, then no matter if we are learned or unlearned, whether we believe in Buddha or God, or follow some other religion or none at all, as long as we have compassion for others and conduct ourselves with restraint out of a sense of responsibility, there is no doubt we will be happy. ~the Dalai Lama

Movies (Yes, I know that I normally do this on Friday, but I thought I would let you do some early planning. Honestly, you should thank me.)

Nationwide
Mrs. Henderson Presents
Something New
When a Stranger Calls

Limited
A Good Woman
Suits on the Loose
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
What the Bleep? – Down the Rabbit Hole
The World’s Fastest Indian

Anyone seen anything about an upcoming movie called UltraViolet? Sounds like Milla Jovovich is starting to get type-cast in these bad-ass, kick-men-around action movies. Although, I can’t complain. Especially since my Resident Evil movies are having a third come out later this year sometime (Resident Evil: Afterlife) Can’t wait! (But seriously, how many roles have you seen her in-major movie wise-that she isn’t kicking butt?)


  ¶ 2/02/2006 11:07:00 AM 1 comments

  ... Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.


If a man be gracious to strangers, it shows that he is a citizen of the world, and his heart is no island, cut off from other islands, but a continent that joins them.
-- Francis Bacon  ¶ 2/01/2006 10:33:00 AM 0 comments

  Hump Day and I need a FCUK! Nothing will sustain you more potently than the power to recognize in your humdrum routine, as perhaps it may be thought, the true poetry of life.    ~Sir William Osler (1849-1919) Canadian Physician

Oh, how true this can be.  I know that the last few days has been very humdrum and routine.  And driving me completely insane.  I did finally get a little bit of work to do yesterday.  Result: I left work with my eyes feeling like they were being twisted inside out with the contacts attached.  Not a great feeling in the least bit.  

Hopefully today will go a little more smoothly for me.  This week isn’t as bad as last weeks, but still has been a rough start.  Somehow I ended up with two Mondays in a row.  Go figure that one out.  But, things have looked up a little.  My apartment hunt is completed, for the most part.  I got the issues with a cosigner straightened out, so now all I have to do is place me name on the waiting list for the end of March and finish saving up the rest of the money that I need.  Tax refunds definitely come in handy, don’t you think?  But I have been working on my wish list over at Target, so maybe I will end up with something off of there.

This will probably end up being a slow week for me I think, so hopefully I can manage to get caught up with everything else I have been working on.  But can you believe that it is only thirteen days until Valentine’s Day?  Don’t forget your loved ones!  And I don’t mean in the usual manner.  Do something special.  Make it memorable.  Roses and chocolates are good and dandy, but think outside the box.  And if this is a “special” month for you, really put your thinking caps on.

Have a great day/week!

Wisdom from the Dalai Lama:
“Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.”
“Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.”
  ¶ 2/01/2006 06:22:00 AM 0 comments