Crawl into My Head
Think on it...
The Buddhist concept of disease is a multi-tiered system of causes. The following analogy will explain: A man drinks a bottle of vodka, steps out of the pub, and blindly walks into the road, where he is at once knocked down and killed by an oncoming bus. What was the cause of the man's death? The apparent cause was being knocked down by a bus-analogous to dying of lung cancer. A deeper cause was being drunk - analogous to the cancer being caused by smoking. But why was he drunk? Because he was unhappy - analogous to the actual cause originating in the mind. And why was he unhappy? Because his wife had left him - analogous to the law of cause and effect (karma). Hence Buddhists would ultimately say that the lung cancer was created by negative karma: the negative energy created in dependence upon a negative thought or its consequent actions (in this life or a past life), and therefore ultimately to remove somebody's predisposition to disease one would need to remove the negative karma.Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
- Charles Dickens (1812-1870) English Novelist
If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Courtesy is simply doing unto others what you would like them to do unto you.
He who has health has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.
Where does the ocean go?? Does anyone know?? (Part un)
“all day the city’s selling somethingalways, the busy people spinning roundbusierdizzier‘til they go back home to somewhereand taxies stop to say ‘hello’‘want a ride, I’ll take you there’‘to anywhere, just tell my driver’the sun is casting shadowsan afternoon is fadingI ask, but no one knowsThe answer to the questionMy life is like an islandWhere does this ocean go?Shyly, a wino sips his wineSlowly, cause to him that is all that mattersHe sees a cat he knows so well Now sleeping on a bench togetherA woman waiting by herself, selling flowers‘please buy some, so I can help my daughter, will you?’the man with spider eyebrowsIs standing on a corner‘who wants to see a show?’his head looks like a melonhe turns into an alleythen stops to blow his nosesky is filled with neonthe buildings stand electricand almost seem to glowwant answers to the questionmy life is like an islandwhere does the ocean go?I really want to knowMy life is like an islandIt’s time for me now to flyWhere does the ocean go?”From “where does this ocean go?” ghost in the shell: stand alone complex soundtrackJust a little tid-bit from a favorite of mine. I will fill in more later about why I put it up here.In other news, I have nearly reached $200 for donations to the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes. MANY THANKS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE DONATED SO FAR!!! As far as the rest of you go, you better donate now, or I will hunt you down!! Just kidding. Maybe.Oh, and now I need to locate my poem folder again…or create a new one. I have been selected to appear in my sixth or seventh book published by the International Library of Poetry, The Best Poems and Poets of 2005. Guess I have done pretty good so far.Okay…other updates to come later. Talk to you then!
Viewpoints...
Remember that if the opportunities for great deeds should never come, the opportunities for good deeds are renewed day by day. The thing for us to long for is the goodness, not the glory.
-- F.W. Faber
The Buddhist view is that all phenomena and experiences are manifestations of causes, gross and subtle, and ultimately linked to the individual experiencing them, and beginning in the mind.
What is the cause of disease? All of the alternative therapies have their own answers and because they achieve results, they probably all claim to be right. Homoeopathy attributes disease to a disturbance of the vital force and this in turn is caused by an array of factors: hereditary, environmental, life-style, diet, emotional, suppressive allopathic drugs, etc.
Nutritionally led disciplines say, "you are what you eat". Extraordinary cures are obtained from special diets. Hypnoanalysis and psychotherapy lay the blame at repressed memories, inner conflicts, unfulfilled needs etc. Still others claim that unhealthy electro-magnetic waves, natural and man made are contributors. Buddhism recognises all of these explanations of disease as valid, but would claim that such causes of disease were themselves manifestations of deeper causes.
only regrets
"My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short."
--Armistead Maupin, author of the "Tales of the City" series
Food for thought...
The reason a dog has more friends is, he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
~Anonymous
Gotta thank a friend of mine for that one! Too bad the ladies I work with haven't figured that one out!!
What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of
debt, and has a clear conscience?
-- Adam Smith (1723-1790)
Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach
them, but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try
to follow where they lead.
-- Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888) American Writer
Something I need to remember all the time...
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
~Buddha
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HotCodez.com
Anchors Aweigh!!

My friend Allan is with the US Navy and recently had his CPO (Chief Petty Officer) pinning ceremony...he is the 4th one from the left in the smaller photos. Congrats buddy!!!
Courage is the greatest of all the virtues. Because if you haven't courage, you may not have an opportunity to use any of the others.
-- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English Author
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.
~Buddha (Saw evidence of this over the weekend in a friendship that nearly ended between two of my friends...)
To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.
~Buddha
Great is the road I climb, but the garland offered by an easier effort is not worth the gathering.
-- Sextus Propertius (50BC-16AD) Roman Poet
Mondays...
You know how you just get into one of those funks, especially when you know that things aren't truly right with your life right now? Well, guess what....I be in one of them. Hopefully it will be somewhat gone by the time I get home tonight so that Matt doesn't have to deal with it...he deals with the brunt of everything from me right now. But if not, oh well. At least I have a door I can shut if I want to be alone. I just really need to get these feelings sorted out that I have for a few people. And you want to know the really funny part? I am not even dating any of them!!! Lord, am I a fucked up mentality or what?! Anyway, my boss found out that I am leaving in six months and she just feels bad. She thinks that it is a reflection on her, when it really isn't. I know that a lot of people that I work with are not really happy, but that is because of the general office bullshit that goes on here..not her. OR at least I don't THINK that it is. But what the hell do I know? Absolutely nothing.
Song: "Nobody's Listening" from
Meteora by Linkin Park
On a more positive note, I have received some good feedback regarding my participating in the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes from my
true friends. Thanks boys!
Quotes for the day
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
-- Epictetus (55-135 AD) Roman Philosopher
Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what hold you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom.
~Buddha
Decide on what you think is right, and stick to it.
-- George Eliot (1819-1880) English Novelist
The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings.
~Buddha
We have worked at full speed since May. And that is I'm persuaded the root and source and origin of all health and happiness, provided of course that one rides work as a man rides a great horse, in aspirited and independent way; not a drudge, but a man with spurs to his heels. (Writing in her journal about her life as a publisher and writer.)
-- Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) English Writer
There is no fire like passion, there is no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, there is no torrent like greed.
~Buddha
The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by. The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light.
-- Felix Adler
JDRF Walk

Hey there!!
Just wanted to put up here that I will be participating in this year's JDRF Walk at Greenfield Park here in Wilmington, NC. I have sent out letters with requests for donations, but if you would like to donate to a great case, please feel free to check out my
page.
Thanks and have a great day!!!!
Move out, Ophelia
hey folks. managed to weather through most of hurricane ophelia yesterday with few issues. although i do have my bitching to do about it.
okay, so we get told at work to plan on coming in unless they have posted a message on the voicemail otherwise. yeah...they didn't do that until 645 and people had been here for at least 15 minutes. not happy. got home and the power went out right after matt got done with his shower and i was cleaning the kitchen. fun. it came back on for about thirty minutes, but stayed off for the rest of the day. and is still off, too. it has been 24 hours since power has been out, and all the neighborhoods, streets, etc have power. we are not happy campers. i had to shower at work just so i could have a shower. neither of us ate after lunch time yesterday, so a
tad bit hungry. spent majority of the day yesterday with three queers in a two bedroom apartment with four animals going nuts...played a few board games and games on our phones until patrick felt safe to head home to check on his house and puppy. i ended up moving my room around again, so that occupied time until i decided it was time to go to bed. oh, and then there was a disagreement how large i actually was, so the tape measure had to come out and put things to rest. not as big as it looks...it is just a little impressive. lol okay, that sounds like i am bragging, but i really am not.
oh well...i am at work now, so i guess we will see who actually shows up today...the parking lot is starting to fill up some, which is a good thing, i guess.
hope everyone else had a good day yesterday!!
>>>>>>
Yeah, I know, I have been a little slack for the last few days. Sorry. Been pretty busy lately. Made some new friends, started part time for a friend of mine, and just trying to not go insane. I will send more details later. But, right now, enjoy the following quotes and annecdotes.....
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease.
This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him.")
Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past 4
years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this
especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include,
but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions
of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the
English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate
new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility
for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history;
tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity
for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are
amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years
ago from a Texas Bush.
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Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings
peace.
~Buddha
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own
way.
-- Anonymous
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Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with
diligence.
~Buddha
A mother should give her children a superabundance of enthusiasm,
that after they have lost all they are sure to lose in mixing with
the world, enough may still remain to prompt and support them through
great actions.
-- Julius C. Hare (1795-1855) English Cleric
=================================================
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
~Buddha
He who finds diamonds must grapple in mud and mire because diamonds
are not found in polished stones. They are made.
-- Henry B. Wilson
Through zeal knowledge is gotten, through lack of zeal
knowledge is lost.
~Buddha
==================================================
Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a
glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a
lake is almost unnoticed.
~Buddha
The world is good-natured to people who are good natured.
-- William Makepeace Thackeray
==================================================
Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for
people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or
ill.
~Buddha
Guess who I am...
This is thoroughly saddening...

Why do the people with the most insecurities and misbeliefs feel like they have to do crap like this???
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Christian Group Blames Katrina on Gays, ExhibitionistsSep 3, 2005 at 2:00 AM by Ross von Metzke
New Orleans, LA - An organization of Christian fundamentalists has stepped forward with claims the destruction brought on by Hurricane Katrina is God's judgment against New Orleans for holding festivals like the gay Southern Decadence party, which was scheduled for Labor Day weekend and has since been cancelled.
"Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city," said Repent America director Michael Marcavage on the organization's Web site. "From Girls Gone Wild to Southern Decadence, New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. May it never be the same."
The comments from Repent America came just minutes after New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin announced that Katrina probably killed thousands of people in the 'Crescent City'.
"Let us pray for those ravaged by this disaster," Marcavage said. "However, we must not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long."
According to the PlanetOut Network, Repent America's Web site noted New Orleans' past three mayors issued official proclamations welcoming visitors to Southern Decadence. The Web site also noted the "New Orleans City Council made other proclamations recognizing the annual homosexual celebration."
"May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God," Marcavage concluded, adding a biblical citation from Matthew 5:45: "[God] sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."
The Rev. Dr. Cindi Love, executive director of the Metropolitan Community Churches, quoted back from the Bible: "Jeremiah 29 says, 'I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.' We rest on these promises."
"I feel sad that anyone is taking advantage of the suffering of people when they are so vulnerable," Love told the PlanetOut Network. "So, I am praying for our brothers and sisters who are blaming gays and lesbians for this disastrous hurricane. I ask them to use their energy to pray for those afflicted and to take the resources being used to attack gays and lesbians and use them to provide relief."
Love added that the MCC was organizing a relief effort.
Copyright 2005 GayWired.com, All Rights Reserved ===========
I find it so amazing that these fundamentalist groups wish to blame such a natural event on "us". New Orleans has been the seat of many things, but I don't ever remember it receiving the nickname of the "City of Sin." Honestly, wasn't that dubbed to Las Vegas? And what is their excuse for as why Mississippi and Alabama received so much damage as well? They most certainly didn't do anything wrong of which we have been made aware. I never knew that promoting tolerance and acceptance was such a horrible thing. Hmph, guess I have been shown.
Wait, wasn't there something in the bible about "God loves all his children and we should learn to accept them?" If there isn't, then the "devouts" who spent so much time trying to convert me sure need a relearning. I grew up on the Old Testament...my people didn't accept JC for his betrayal of his people. But again, what do I know.
"He who is without sin, cast the first stone." I don't know anyone who can fit in this category...at all.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.~Buddha
Song of the morning:
Devil Inside by Utada Hiraku (
click here for lyrics)
One to definitely keep memorized
It is a glorious achievement to master one's own temper.
-- Anonymous
Song of the Morning: "Euphoria (Firefly)" by Delerium ft. Jacqui Hunt
Quotes for the day...
An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.
~Buddha
In order to discover new lands, one must be willing to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
-- Andre Gide (1869–1951) French Writer
An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.
~Buddha
Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals.
~Buddha
I run great risk of failing. It may be that I shall encounter ruin where I look for reputation and a career of honor. The chances are perhaps more in favour of ruin than of success. But, whatever may be the chances, I shall go on as long as any means of carrying on the fight are at my disposal.
-- Anthony Trollope (1815-1882) English Novelist
For all who say I spend too much time online...
Are you Addicted to the Internet?
Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.
The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!
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Nature does not bestow virtue; to be good is an art.
-- Seneca
Lighter note...

On a lighter note, I did go and get my new tattoo for all of you who knew about how desperate I was to get inked again until I get my major one designed regularly. Look and admire...some may be lucky to see it modeled in person. ;)
We humbly request your assistance...
Okay, my friends know that I keep my nose out of politics and the like. Well, in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, it has been hard to flip through the channels and not see images from Louisiana, Mississippi or Alabama and the devastation that has been caused. It has also been hard to ignore comments made by TV or radio personalities regarding the crisis the deep South now faces with restoration.
Last night on CNN, Jack Cafferty made some comments about that other countries should be helping us out with aid, that we have helped everybody else in the world through the years. And I then heard this sentiment expressed again this morning on the radio on my way into work.
I have one issue with this.
Yes, we have assisted other countries in their time of need, throughout the course of history. But that does not mean that we have the right to demand the assistance to be returned. Our arrogance has already cost us the good image that we had before; countries are less likely assist those who toss their weight around and insist on taking things into their own hands. (Much like the current war we are fighting overseas). And when one decides that they are going to "demand" something, it really doesn't go over well. It sounds like the spoiled child who wants everything done his or her way and then cries bloody murder when it doesn't happen that way. Not a good impression.
The statement that should be presented to our allies is this: "In the past, we were able to provide assistance to those in desperate need. While we were not faced with great disasters in the past, one has befallen us now. We now place before you a plea for your assistance in our time of need. Whatever help you are able to present would be most appreciated."
Now, I am not stating that those higher up are not able to handle things very well, or at least have the aides to assist and direct. Most of the time. But I do think that we should adjust our image to the rest of the world and stop making so many enemies with our "spoken-before-thinking" comments, both by our leaders and by the news media who seems to be able to control our opinions.
Sorry, but I like to make my own opinion.
Quick quotes...
The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world is to be in reality what we would appear to be.
-- Socrates (469-399 BC) Greek Philosopher
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
~Buddha
The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green.
-- Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer