Crawl into My Head
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Praying For You - May 2008 (2nd CD)
Praying for You
Kristine W - The Boss (Tracy Young's Big Club Mix)
Martha Wash ft RuPaul - It's Raining Men (Headman Extended Remix)
Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes (Tracy Young House Mix)
Ian Carey ft Michelle Shellers - Keep On Rising (Vocal Mix)
Ron Perkov - I Get Off (Tony Moran & Warren Rigg Club Mix)
Booty Luv - Some Kinda Rush (Soul Avengerz Remix)
Ercola ft Annie - Follow Me (DJ Dlg & Redroche Remix)
Erin Hamilton - The Flame (Offer Nissim 2008 Big Club Mix)
Chris Brown - With You (Tracy Young Club Mix)
Taylor Dayne - Beautiful (Hex Hector's Vocal Mix)
Jordin Sparks ft Chris Brown - No Air (Jason Nevins Radio Edit)
Colton Ford & Pepper Mashay - Signed, Sealed, and Delivered (Ralphie Rosario Remix) ¶ 4/25/2008 11:55:00 PM 0 comments
Kristine W - The Boss (Tracy Young's Big Club Mix)
Martha Wash ft RuPaul - It's Raining Men (Headman Extended Remix)
Madonna ft Justin Timberlake - 4 Minutes (Tracy Young House Mix)
Ian Carey ft Michelle Shellers - Keep On Rising (Vocal Mix)
Ron Perkov - I Get Off (Tony Moran & Warren Rigg Club Mix)
Booty Luv - Some Kinda Rush (Soul Avengerz Remix)
Ercola ft Annie - Follow Me (DJ Dlg & Redroche Remix)
Erin Hamilton - The Flame (Offer Nissim 2008 Big Club Mix)
Chris Brown - With You (Tracy Young Club Mix)
Taylor Dayne - Beautiful (Hex Hector's Vocal Mix)
Jordin Sparks ft Chris Brown - No Air (Jason Nevins Radio Edit)
Colton Ford & Pepper Mashay - Signed, Sealed, and Delivered (Ralphie Rosario Remix) ¶ 4/25/2008 11:55:00 PM 0 comments
April's CD - Repost
Hey there...
Wanted to provide a repost for the link for a better quality download of April's FREE DESTINY CD.
Sorry about the issues on the first one!
DJ Aiden Archangel ¶ 4/25/2008 08:53:00 PM 0 comments
Wanted to provide a repost for the link for a better quality download of April's FREE DESTINY CD.
Sorry about the issues on the first one!
DJ Aiden Archangel ¶ 4/25/2008 08:53:00 PM 0 comments
Something I am starting to put into effect....
The Daffodil Principle
Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.''
I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.
Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.
"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly and said, " We drive in this all the time, Mother."
"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.
"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."
"Carolyn," I said ster nly, "Please turn around."
"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, " Daffodil Garden ."
We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.
It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.
"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.
"Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the prop erty. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.
On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline.
The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read.
The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain."
The third answer was, "Began in 1958."
For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived.
One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.
That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, often just one baby-step at a time and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world …
"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. " What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? "Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.
She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"
Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...
There is no better time than right now to b e happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.
If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone special. I just did!
Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. ¶ 4/25/2008 06:42:00 PM 0 comments
Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come to see the daffodils before they are over.''
I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday", I promised a little reluctantly on her third call.
Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and reluctantly I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house, I was welcomed by the joyful sounds of happy children. I delightedly hugged and greeted my grandchildren.
"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in these clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see badly enough to drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly and said, " We drive in this all the time, Mother."
"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.
"But first we're going to see the daffodils. It's just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this."
"Carolyn," I said ster nly, "Please turn around."
"It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand lettered sign with an arrow that read, " Daffodil Garden ."
We got out of the car, each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, as we turned a corner, I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight.
It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it over the mountain peak and its surrounding slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, creamy white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted in large groups so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.
"Who did this?" I asked Carolyn.
"Just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the prop erty. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well-kept A-frame house, small and modestly sitting in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.
On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking", was the headline.
The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read.
The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and one brain."
The third answer was, "Began in 1958."
For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun, one bulb at a time, to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountaintop. Planting one bulb at a time, year after year, this unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived.
One day at a time, she had created something of extraordinary magnificence, beauty, and inspiration. The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration.
That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, often just one baby-step at a time and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world …
"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. " What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years? "Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.
She was right. It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"
Use the Daffodil Principle. Stop waiting.....
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you clean the house
Until you organize the garage
Until you clean off your desk
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until the kids go to school
Until you retire
Until summer
Until spring
Until winter
Until fall
Until you die...
There is no better time than right now to b e happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money. Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.
If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone special. I just did!
Wishing you a beautiful, daffodil day!
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. ¶ 4/25/2008 06:42:00 PM 0 comments
Speak Aloud - May 2008 set
Hope you enjoy...
Speak Aloud
Mariah Carey – Say Something (David Morales Club Mix)
Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love (Moto Blanco Vocal Club Mix)
Da Buzz – Without Breaking (Extended Mix)
Santana ft Chad Kroeger – Into the Night (Tommie Sunshine Remix Radio Edit)
Ashley Jade – On the Run (Joe Bermudez & Josh Harris Fugitive Club Mix)
Ricky Martin – Pegate (Ralphi Rosario Hard Club Vox Remix)
Natasha Bedingfield – Pocket Full of Sunshine (Johnny Vicious Warehouse Mix)
Robbie Rivera – Back to Zero (Bigroom Mix)
Donna Summer – I’m A Fire (Extended Red Top Mix)
Janet Jackson – Feedback (Moto Blanco Full Vocal Mix)
Mariah Carey – Touch My Body (Seamus Haji Club Mix)
NOTICE: I do apologize for the April CD...a friend of mine has helped me figure out where the issue laid in the poor quality between the transfers, so I will be correcting and re-uploading the April CD. Thanks for your patience!! ¶ 4/25/2008 06:02:00 AM 0 comments
Speak Aloud
Mariah Carey – Say Something (David Morales Club Mix)
Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love (Moto Blanco Vocal Club Mix)
Da Buzz – Without Breaking (Extended Mix)
Santana ft Chad Kroeger – Into the Night (Tommie Sunshine Remix Radio Edit)
Ashley Jade – On the Run (Joe Bermudez & Josh Harris Fugitive Club Mix)
Ricky Martin – Pegate (Ralphi Rosario Hard Club Vox Remix)
Natasha Bedingfield – Pocket Full of Sunshine (Johnny Vicious Warehouse Mix)
Robbie Rivera – Back to Zero (Bigroom Mix)
Donna Summer – I’m A Fire (Extended Red Top Mix)
Janet Jackson – Feedback (Moto Blanco Full Vocal Mix)
Mariah Carey – Touch My Body (Seamus Haji Club Mix)
NOTICE: I do apologize for the April CD...a friend of mine has helped me figure out where the issue laid in the poor quality between the transfers, so I will be correcting and re-uploading the April CD. Thanks for your patience!! ¶ 4/25/2008 06:02:00 AM 0 comments
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
For Everyone to Read...
It has come to my attention recently...yet again...that my HIV status and sexual practices have become the speculation of the gay community.
People who know me and have spent time talking to me (friends, family, former roommates) know that I don't fuck around when it comes to my health, HIV, and the people that I play with. I am very honest because I have been involved with that section of our community since I was 18. I do not believe in placing someone's life at the risk, and I believe it to be very disrespectful to withhold any such information.
My sexual practices and my status are the business of myself, my partner, and the people that I feel need to know. And if there are any questions, I prefer that people come to me, even if they feel uncomfortable. And, if my friends receive questioning on anything that pertains to my health, I appreciate it when they provide me with the full information of all they have been asked and who was doing the questioning. Anything that pertains to a person's health is extremely important. Especially when it comes to something that is as life-changing as HIV and AIDS. The knowledge of who is stating they became infected due to an encounter helps build a timeline from the last test performed and any possible exposure. AND it allows a person to determine the next step for further in-depth testing.
So, in the future, I appreciate all questions and concerns coming to me directly. Not all my friends are privy to the private info....and it is also the easiest way to dispel rumours.
Especially when it appears that I have the scary ability to arise from the dead every new year. (Thanks to whomever started that one going....I had needed a good laugh watching a little kid scurry away because he didn't know I was the subject of the rumour). ¶ 4/19/2008 10:52:00 PM 0 comments
People who know me and have spent time talking to me (friends, family, former roommates) know that I don't fuck around when it comes to my health, HIV, and the people that I play with. I am very honest because I have been involved with that section of our community since I was 18. I do not believe in placing someone's life at the risk, and I believe it to be very disrespectful to withhold any such information.
My sexual practices and my status are the business of myself, my partner, and the people that I feel need to know. And if there are any questions, I prefer that people come to me, even if they feel uncomfortable. And, if my friends receive questioning on anything that pertains to my health, I appreciate it when they provide me with the full information of all they have been asked and who was doing the questioning. Anything that pertains to a person's health is extremely important. Especially when it comes to something that is as life-changing as HIV and AIDS. The knowledge of who is stating they became infected due to an encounter helps build a timeline from the last test performed and any possible exposure. AND it allows a person to determine the next step for further in-depth testing.
So, in the future, I appreciate all questions and concerns coming to me directly. Not all my friends are privy to the private info....and it is also the easiest way to dispel rumours.
Especially when it appears that I have the scary ability to arise from the dead every new year. (Thanks to whomever started that one going....I had needed a good laugh watching a little kid scurry away because he didn't know I was the subject of the rumour). ¶ 4/19/2008 10:52:00 PM 0 comments
Monday, April 14, 2008
Anticipated Movies of 2008
5/2
Iron Man Marvel Comics' steel-plated superhero is coming to the big screen, with a stellar cast and amazing effects. Robert Downey Jr. brings humor and humanity to the role of Tony Stark, the billionaire who builds and wears the indestructible armor.
5/9
Speed Racer The Wachowski Brothers, the creative duo behind The Matrix, return to directing with an altogether different visual extravaganza, the live-action version of a classic anime series. The trailer promises eye-popping sights and a whole lot of speed.
5/16
The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian The four Pevensie children return to the magical world of Narnia to find 1,300 years have passed and an evil king rules the land. They will need the help of the mighty lion Aslan to restore the young Prince Caspian to his rightful place on the throne.
5/22
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Harrison Ford, Steven Spielburg and George Lucas reunite to bring legendary archeologist and adventurer Dr. Henry Jones Jr. (better known as "Indiana") back to the big screen.
5/30
Sex and the City Four years ago, it looked like Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha had everything they wanted out of life. But life tends to be unpredictable, so it's good to have friends around.
6/13
The Incredible Hulk Edward Norton takes over the role of Dr. Bruce Banner, on the run from forces that want to use his giant, muscle-bound and green alter ego as a destructive weapon.
6/27
WALL-E From the director of Finding Nemo, Pixar's next groundbreaking animated film tells the story of a little robot who spends centuries cleaning up garbage all by himself who finally gets a chance to see what excitement the galaxy has to offer.
6/27
Wanted Angelina Jolie is back in action as a mystery woman named Fox who indoctrinates James McAvoy into a secret fellowship of assassins so highly trained they bend the very laws of physics, with Morgan Freeman as their gun-wielding guru.
7/18
The Dark Knight Continuing the story of director Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins, Christian Bale returns as the Caped Crusader, this time facing his arch-nemesis, the scarred and scary Joker, played with psychotic menace by Heath Ledger.
8/15
Tropic Thunder Ben Stiller directs and stars in a comedy about a group of pampered actors who think they're shooting a war movie, but then find themselves in the middle of a real battle zone. ¶ 4/14/2008 09:18:00 PM 0 comments
Iron Man Marvel Comics' steel-plated superhero is coming to the big screen, with a stellar cast and amazing effects. Robert Downey Jr. brings humor and humanity to the role of Tony Stark, the billionaire who builds and wears the indestructible armor.
5/9
Speed Racer The Wachowski Brothers, the creative duo behind The Matrix, return to directing with an altogether different visual extravaganza, the live-action version of a classic anime series. The trailer promises eye-popping sights and a whole lot of speed.
5/16
The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian The four Pevensie children return to the magical world of Narnia to find 1,300 years have passed and an evil king rules the land. They will need the help of the mighty lion Aslan to restore the young Prince Caspian to his rightful place on the throne.
5/22
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Harrison Ford, Steven Spielburg and George Lucas reunite to bring legendary archeologist and adventurer Dr. Henry Jones Jr. (better known as "Indiana") back to the big screen.
5/30
Sex and the City Four years ago, it looked like Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha had everything they wanted out of life. But life tends to be unpredictable, so it's good to have friends around.
6/13
The Incredible Hulk Edward Norton takes over the role of Dr. Bruce Banner, on the run from forces that want to use his giant, muscle-bound and green alter ego as a destructive weapon.
6/27
WALL-E From the director of Finding Nemo, Pixar's next groundbreaking animated film tells the story of a little robot who spends centuries cleaning up garbage all by himself who finally gets a chance to see what excitement the galaxy has to offer.
6/27
Wanted Angelina Jolie is back in action as a mystery woman named Fox who indoctrinates James McAvoy into a secret fellowship of assassins so highly trained they bend the very laws of physics, with Morgan Freeman as their gun-wielding guru.
7/18
The Dark Knight Continuing the story of director Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins, Christian Bale returns as the Caped Crusader, this time facing his arch-nemesis, the scarred and scary Joker, played with psychotic menace by Heath Ledger.
8/15
Tropic Thunder Ben Stiller directs and stars in a comedy about a group of pampered actors who think they're shooting a war movie, but then find themselves in the middle of a real battle zone. ¶ 4/14/2008 09:18:00 PM 0 comments
Free Destiny - April 2008
Hope you enjoy..
Free Destiny
Kelly Rowland – Work (Freemasons Club Mix)
Kortezman ft Rozalla – Everybody's Free (Numa Remix)
Global DeeJays ft Technotronic – Get Up (Tribalectric Mix)
Kim English – My Destiny (Kobbe & Austin Leeds Club Mix)
Bananarama – Look On the Floor (Angel City Mix)
Delta Goodrem – Believe Again (Rich Remix)
Craig Obey – Music In My Mind (Soul Avengerz Remix)
Filo & Peri ft Tiff Lacey – Dance With a Devil (Serge Devant Mix)
Inez – Walk Away Tonight (Carl Ryden Remix)
Judge Jules ft Amanda O'Riordan – Without Love
Jordin Sparks – Tattoo (Jason Nevins Extended Remix)
Alison Moyet – A Guy Like You (Almighty Anthem Radio Edit)
Sarah Atereth – It Doesn't Take Much (Josh Harris Club Mix) ¶ 4/14/2008 08:26:00 PM 0 comments
Free Destiny
Kelly Rowland – Work (Freemasons Club Mix)
Kortezman ft Rozalla – Everybody's Free (Numa Remix)
Global DeeJays ft Technotronic – Get Up (Tribalectric Mix)
Kim English – My Destiny (Kobbe & Austin Leeds Club Mix)
Bananarama – Look On the Floor (Angel City Mix)
Delta Goodrem – Believe Again (Rich Remix)
Craig Obey – Music In My Mind (Soul Avengerz Remix)
Filo & Peri ft Tiff Lacey – Dance With a Devil (Serge Devant Mix)
Inez – Walk Away Tonight (Carl Ryden Remix)
Judge Jules ft Amanda O'Riordan – Without Love
Jordin Sparks – Tattoo (Jason Nevins Extended Remix)
Alison Moyet – A Guy Like You (Almighty Anthem Radio Edit)
Sarah Atereth – It Doesn't Take Much (Josh Harris Club Mix) ¶ 4/14/2008 08:26:00 PM 0 comments
Rest in Peace, Ryan
It is sad how a person can be ripped from our lives. A good friend made this video in memory of his boyfriend, another good friend of mine. We will miss you, Ryan.
¶ 4/14/2008 06:02:00 PM 0 comments
¶ 4/14/2008 06:02:00 PM 0 comments
Friday, April 04, 2008
Just Be - Tiesto and Kirsty Hawkshaw
My friends know that this has been a trying few weeks for me, but I am getting through it. So, in the fashion of me getting through, here is a song that I love dearly...
¶ 4/04/2008 05:53:00 PM 0 comments
¶ 4/04/2008 05:53:00 PM 0 comments
Thursday, April 03, 2008
A Shout in the Dark
The last few weeks has seen a lot going on in my life. I gained a promotion, had my birthday, got sick and spent time in the emergency room. Saw more time in the ER for a friend of mine who had a bad car wreck (remind me to take my name off the emergency contact list – just kidding). Tie in a lot of non-sleeping, and I have been doing awesome. Work also got rough with a client veering towards to the more insane side, and then we just went through a layoff in four of our office...including mine. Fortunately I am safe because of my position, but it was still rough to deal with.
But right when I thought that things were going to get a little better and an emotional lull was coming my way, I got a shocker.
My friends know that I am a very big proponent of going to the source when you want to know the answer to a question. I basically feel it is a matter of respect. Apparently somebody got some free time on their hands again. I got a text message from a friend back east because someone has come to him regarding something he was hearing about me. Apparently some person back in Raleigh was spreading it around the state that I was the last person he had been with and I gave him HIV. First, why would a person want to spread that around a state? Especially when I was no longer in the area and the y knew that. I never did understand that. But, the biggest part that got to me is that someone who was so concerned about me couldn’t come to me to ask the important questions. Anyone who knows me knows that I feel it is more respectful to ask the source instead of going around to everyone else.
I can understand why they went to the person they did, but it was a lot of assumption on their part that someone would know everything that was going on with me. Just because we were close at the time I lived in the same town, I can’t say that it continued once I left the city and later the state. And that part probably hurt the most. But with each move I made that brought me further from him, it seemed like we drifted further apart. And his means of attempting to show concern for what happens in my life didn’t exactly come out the way he was hoping. But, I guess that is what happens in life.
I know that I am not always the best with opening up and trusting folks, and that comes from a lot of history…not something that started overnight. But, I do think that I have made some improvement. My ex can probably vouch although I still am not as open with him either. But, I do what I can.
Anyway…I think I am digressing from the point. Or maybe I don’t have an exact point. Reading back on this, it looks more like it is being written in the train of through viewpoint instead of an object view. I have had a lot of emotion running through my head that has exploded in the emails back and forth to someone making him wake up some. And I guess is it starting to rub out into my interactions with others because I have noticed that I have probably been a little bit on the sharper side. Yeah, I know that I have been considered as ‘passionate’ because of how much I put into myself and into the relations with others that come close enough to be my friends and potentially more.
But I can’t help it. I spend a lot of time being analytical that it feels good to release the emotional rush that flows through my veins like fiery water. I was born twenty-seven years ago on the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces. I have grown into a nice combination of Air and Water, two signs that can be gentle, yet deadly. My left arm bears a fire and water yin-yang…opposites that are beautiful and deadly all at once. Anyways... Feel free to check out Aquarius and Pisces…I have definitely been incorporating bothe sets of traits into my personality as I evolve and grow as a person.
Okay, so what was the point of all that? I haven’t the foggiest. But I am sure someone will help me pull the details all together. Some point….some day.
¶ 4/03/2008 09:32:00 PM 1 comments
But right when I thought that things were going to get a little better and an emotional lull was coming my way, I got a shocker.
My friends know that I am a very big proponent of going to the source when you want to know the answer to a question. I basically feel it is a matter of respect. Apparently somebody got some free time on their hands again. I got a text message from a friend back east because someone has come to him regarding something he was hearing about me. Apparently some person back in Raleigh was spreading it around the state that I was the last person he had been with and I gave him HIV. First, why would a person want to spread that around a state? Especially when I was no longer in the area and the y knew that. I never did understand that. But, the biggest part that got to me is that someone who was so concerned about me couldn’t come to me to ask the important questions. Anyone who knows me knows that I feel it is more respectful to ask the source instead of going around to everyone else.
I can understand why they went to the person they did, but it was a lot of assumption on their part that someone would know everything that was going on with me. Just because we were close at the time I lived in the same town, I can’t say that it continued once I left the city and later the state. And that part probably hurt the most. But with each move I made that brought me further from him, it seemed like we drifted further apart. And his means of attempting to show concern for what happens in my life didn’t exactly come out the way he was hoping. But, I guess that is what happens in life.
I know that I am not always the best with opening up and trusting folks, and that comes from a lot of history…not something that started overnight. But, I do think that I have made some improvement. My ex can probably vouch although I still am not as open with him either. But, I do what I can.
Anyway…I think I am digressing from the point. Or maybe I don’t have an exact point. Reading back on this, it looks more like it is being written in the train of through viewpoint instead of an object view. I have had a lot of emotion running through my head that has exploded in the emails back and forth to someone making him wake up some. And I guess is it starting to rub out into my interactions with others because I have noticed that I have probably been a little bit on the sharper side. Yeah, I know that I have been considered as ‘passionate’ because of how much I put into myself and into the relations with others that come close enough to be my friends and potentially more.
But I can’t help it. I spend a lot of time being analytical that it feels good to release the emotional rush that flows through my veins like fiery water. I was born twenty-seven years ago on the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces. I have grown into a nice combination of Air and Water, two signs that can be gentle, yet deadly. My left arm bears a fire and water yin-yang…opposites that are beautiful and deadly all at once. Anyways... Feel free to check out Aquarius and Pisces…I have definitely been incorporating bothe sets of traits into my personality as I evolve and grow as a person.
Okay, so what was the point of all that? I haven’t the foggiest. But I am sure someone will help me pull the details all together. Some point….some day.
¶ 4/03/2008 09:32:00 PM 1 comments
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